Broken

I entitled this post "Broken" because it seems so fitting. While I'm not going to name names right now, and may never post about this again, there is a couple very near and dear to Brad and I's heart that are preparing to go through a divorce. I hate the word in every sense and I don't agree with it and yet, I do feel that sometimes, there is no other way. In order for this divorce to happen, one of these people is planning to move miles away and it is absolutely crushing me.

I have been close to her for several years and she loves my kids like they are her own. She lives vicariously through them and loves them to the core. Things will absolutely not be the same and yet, I have watched her try and try to make this marriage work, only to watch her be disappointed time and time again. She has been unhappy for years, hoping he will change and yet his addictions are stronger than he is and they have a firm grip. It's been a cycle and it's time for her to get out. This is not an abusive cycle and yet it's a cycle that needs to be broken. But how?

The selfish child in me wants to cry, kick, scream and tell her she can't leave and yet the adult, more mature me says, I want you to be happy. I love you and I can't watch you do this anymore. I can't watch you try and work so hard at your job and on this relationship, only to see you end up with nothing at the end. You have given years to this problem and while it's seen it's peaks, there have been a lot of valleys.

I'm 32 years old and divorce has never been as close as it is now. It's hard to be strong when I feel so weak, helpless and sad. Please pray God's grace in this situation, as well as strength for me as I try to explain divorce to my children.

Packing Nuts

There's something that happens to us when there is a big storm predicted. There's almost an excitement/anxiety ridden feeling in the air and then it happens................MASS MAHEM STRIKES! We make a list of the 3 things we can't live without: milk, bread and eggs, and we make a mad dash to the store and start clearing the shelves. We stock up on enough to last us 2-3 weeks when in reality, we'll probably only be stuck inside for 2-3 days. Why is it that bread, milk and eggs tops our list every time? O.k. so I did see a couple carts stocked with enough beer to throw a pretty good party but what is it about the bread, milk and eggs?

I took off for the store yesterday with all the other storm anxious people. I looked around as I was shopping and thought, some of these people look like squirrels packing nuts for the winter. They were frantically running about the store with their carts, grabbing things off shelves as fast as they could. It was crazy. Now, I will say, I did go to the store because there is a storm on the way but I also went because we had no food in the house and it was way past due. I will admit, I was glad to be home safe and warm for the night and glad we had food in the house because there's nothing like a good snowstorm to make you wanna cook!

There's also something else that happens when you are snowed in. To me, it's freedom from all outside responsibilities. Things get canceled and it's a good excuse to stay in and watch movies, read a good book or actually get busy within your own house and do some heavy cleaning or organizing. I have big plans to break into my attic closet and purge things I no longer want and organize the rest. It's been a long time coming! I'm also hoping to get some quality time with the kids although, they're not feeling very well today so that has come in the form of movies today!