The Home Stretch

Well, a week ago today I went to the doctor and left thinking I may deliver soon. Tonight, I'm still pregnant and am scheduled to go back for another check up at 11:45 tomorrow. It's been a bittersweet day as well as week. From the day you find out your pregnant, you anticipate what this miracle is going to look like, how big or small he or she will be and how your whole family dynamic will change after the baby is here.

For the last seven days, each morning, I have woke up wondering if "this was the day." There have been some mornings I have felt really good and energetic and some mornings that I've been on the couch napping by 9:00 a.m. Today, Brad and I ran errands in the morning and then I spent a good portion of the day cleaning, doing laundry and preparing the house for me to leave as we've decided that if the conditions are suitable when I talk to the doctor tomorrow, we will be inducing this delivery sometime in the afternoon or evening. At first, I didn't think I would induce because I had been feeling so good and while I'm not feeling miserable, I am having more pain and just plain uncomfortable at times. Add to this that my body will start having contractions and go for hours at a time and then stop again, I just feel that maybe I need a little extra push to get things going consistently.

It was good that I was busy today. It kept my mind off a lot of things but tonight, I've had more time to think about and process what could be in our very near future. I am so excited to meet our second daughter. I can't wait to see the relationship and Gabby has with her as she has been ecstatic about having a sister since the day we found out we were having a girl. I think she is going to be such a huge help. I look forward to cuddling a baby again, I love the baby stage, despite the long nights but feel it will just be different this time with Gabby and Carson being older, Carson being in preschool three mornings a week and Brad working from home. Seriously, my husband works from home, what a blessing! The even bigger blessing in all of this is that Brad is such a HUGE help and support here in our house. I can honestly say our marriage is a partnership here and we work together in everything. He has gone above and beyond these last 6 weeks to help around the house through cleaning, laundry, preparing meals, even if it meant we ordered out or he took the kids out of the house so I could rest. He is amazing and I am so blessed to call him my husband. Words don't describe how much I love him!

On the other side of things, I worry about how I'm going to juggle life with three kids. I wonder how Carson will adjust to having a baby in the house. I was explaining to him tonight that I would most likely be going to the hospital tomorrow to have his new sister and told him that when she gets here, he can come to the hospital to see both of us. I asked him if he wants to come to the hospital and he responded with "no." While it was somewhat funny, it kind of broke my heart because it told me that he's not quite ready for all that's about to take place. I just hope we can help him understand and yet not forget to make him feel loved and included at the same time.

I also worry about the time that I'm away at the hospital and how things will function here without me. While I know they will, there is a lot that goes on under this roof and while we're fortunate to have family helping us, they are not here on a day to day basis and don't know all of the little things that my kids like or don't like. At a time like this, emotions are high and I know Brad will be around to help but I would also like him to be with me too and I don't want him to feel over stretched.

So tonight, I will go to sleep with a lot of different emotions but also praying that God will be with us, and guide the hands of the nurses and doctors tomorrow who will be with us helping to bring another one of his miracle's into the world and into our home and hearts.

Life Changes

I was talking with the kids tonight about the baby and I asked them, "What kinds of things do you think will be different around the house when (insert baby's name here) comes home from the hospital?"

Instantly, Gabby says: "Whaaa Whaaa" and I said, "Yes, alot of crying."

But it was this response that cracked me up.....

Gabby then says, "Well, I'll probably have to start making my own breakfast before school and Carson (looks at him and points), you're going to have to start drinking your milk cold."

I laughed to myself and thought, "Oh if only the transition was going to be THAT easy!"

By the way.....Carson looked at her as if to say, "Oh, I don't plan to experience any changes." :)

We're Almost There

We are two days away from being thirty-nine weeks! We are almost there! I went to the doctor on Thursday for my checkup and was 3 cm dilated which was great news to me after all the contractions I had timed and counted over the past week. My doctor felt that I was close to delivering however, as with all pregnancies, it's hard to speculate exactly when so the the plan is that if I'm still walking around pregnant next Friday, if I so choose, I can head to the hospital that day for an induction.

I wouldn't say that I'm worried but I'm not exactly excited about the fact that I am progressing and my doctor is on vacation until next Friday. However, as I told Brad, when you're delivering, the doctor pretty much shows up to catch the baby and leaves again. All your time is really spent with the nurses during the delivery. So, I'm not stressing that too much. My dilemma is trying to decide if I'd like Blythe to share a birthday with me if she's not here by next weekend. My birthday is the 26th. On one hand, I think it would be nice if we shared a birthday. On the other hand, maybe she'd like to have her own day. I just don't know.

For now, I am feeling decent for being so far along. I have my good and bad days but I'm just really trying to enjoy these last days of her moving inside of me. This pregnancy has been a great one (not counting weeks 33 through 38) and I know it will be the last pregnancy I ever have so I'm taking it day by day and enjoying this "season" for it will very soon, be over and she won't just belong to me anymore. It will be time to share her with the world! She has a daddy, brother and sister who are very eager to meet her; not to mention, the rest of the family who checks in daily to see if we're getting any closer to delivery.

I'm putting this in God's hands. Ever since we had the scare that she may arrive too soon, I've just prayed that God would bring her when it was time. I am patiently waiting, trying to be still and see what HIS plan is for us. I'm hoping to remain feeling this way. I think as long as I can keep my patience, I'll be o.k. but if I start to feel miserable and like my body can't take it anymore, we may need to help her out of there!

Waiting

I'm not good at it....waiting....the kind of waiting where you just don't know how long you're going to be, "waiting." I'm very much an organizer and a planner. I don't mind "flying by the seat of my pants" OCCASIONALLY, but I don't want to make it a way of life.

I went in for my 37 week appointment today, only to find out that I really have not progressed much over the last week. This news wouldn't have been so disappointing to me had I not had contractions yesterday from 4 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. and then again from 7p.m. to 10:30 last night. There's something about those contractions that gets you excited! You can feel the end in sight and know that all the work your body is doing for you is going to get your little blessing here in your arms.

While I have had some better days lately, I've also felt anxious, feeling like it's close but then finding out today that I hadn't dilated anymore really bummed me out. It's my prayer that this little girl will come in God's time, so for now.....

I keep waiting.................

Bittersweet

I feel like the last week or so, I' ve been checking off a list of "Top Ten Signs You're Going Into Labor" and it's kind of bittersweet. After spending over four weeks of not feeling well and having to stay down, with limited activity, I am finally able to be up and going. It's nice! This past weekend was Labor Day weekend. I woke up on Saturday, after having had a really good night's sleep and felt great! I seriously felt like a new person! And it continued into Sunday and Monday, so much so that I even went bowling with the family on Monday and bowled a 117, which was enough to beat Brad! Let's hear it for the pregnant lady! :)

Now here I am today, it's Tuesday and my energy is back down and I'm not feeling so hot! It leaves me wondering, what's next? Check that sudden burst of energy off the list!

The bittersweet part comes in the fact that while I have loved being pregnant (until the last month or so) I'm also ready to see her sweet face but then, (here comes the selfish part of me) once she's here, I have to share her with the world and I know I will miss all the kicks and squirms that I have been feeling since 20 weeks along. Not to mention, there will be the sleepless nights and 3 different schedules to tend to. I'm not sure how Carson is going to transition with a baby in the house either. How will the kids do without me being home for a couple days? How will delivery go?

All things that run through my head when I can't sleep some nights.....bittersweet!

37 Weeks

Yep! Wow! 37 weeks! I can hardly believe it. Where did the rest of summer go? This past Saturday, we hit 97 degrees, today is Tuesday and we didn't even make it to 70 much less 65! Fall is in the air and I am missing summer but with the temperatures turning cooler, that also means our newest blessing is that much closer to arriving! In fact, we anticipate seeing her any day now.

The last four to six weeks have been a bit of a struggle. I haven't been feeling too well and my body has been progressing toward delivery slowly....but surely. Each appt. at the doctor has revealed that we were a bit closer. Around 33 weeks, I had to stop cleaning the house and office I had been working for and take some time for light bedrest. The doctor never put me on strict bedrest but did instruct that I really needed to be taking it easy. I'm not saying this to brag but my job here in this house as a mom and housewife is to keep things orderly, clean and groceries in the house. I have been unable to do any of those and it has bothered me more than I ever thought it would. Brad has been great at pitching in and helping but there's something about having to watch him go to work all day and then come downstairs and either cook or go pick up food and then pick up the house and clean it that really sent me into a funk. I also do the grocery shopping and it's been hard to not be able to do that.

A few weeks ago, I needed to get some things that I wanted to pick out for myself since they were personal things I would need once the baby arrived. So Brad, Carson and I had breakfast out and Brad took me to Target that morning. I already knew that I would need to ride in one of those motorized carts when I got there because just walking across a parking lot would put me into contractions but I had no idea how humbling it would be once I was actually in the cart, wheeling through the store. I don't ever want to do that again. I felt like people were looking at me thinking, "What's the pregnant lady doing in the motor cart? She doesn't look that pregnant to me!"

We are all anxious to meet the newest member of our family! Sometimes the hardest part is waiting but it won't be too much longer now!