A year ago at this time, I was an emotional mess. I did NOT want to turn 30. I hated to see the 20's go and even think about the 30's. I think it was a fear of "being older" than anything else. At the time, I felt like once I turned 30, I was immediately going to be 40. I remember looking back and thinking how fast the 20's went and how happy they had been. How could it get any better?
So here I am a year later to say it really wasn't bad. In fact, it was pretty great! I feel like I am a more confident person than I used to be and honestly, I've learned that people really look at your opinion and respect it much more (in most instances).
So here's what I've learned over the course of the last year....
1. It doesn't matter how much or how little money you have in your bank account, if you have a strong marriage and you love and respect each other, the way God intended, you can survive and get through anything.
2. If you are an animal lover, you can become attached to other people's pets and your heart can break and you can mourn with others when they lose a beloved pet, almost as if it was your own. This summer, I had a family I clean for whose dog passed away. Max was the highlight of my cleaning days there. A beautiful Golden Retriever, he followed me all over the house and we had conversation all the time. He was the kind of friend I could trust to NEVER tell anyone anything. :) I not only mourned his passing but my heart broke for that family as I knew the loss they had suffered after only being with that dog twice a month for the last year. If you don't have pets, you can't understand this but it is just like you've lost a family member.
3. My days don't always have to go the way I planned them and I will survive. Since we started noticing changes in Carson, there have been many days that I have called Brad ranting or sometimes even crying and he always had a way to talk me through it and calm me down to put things in perspective.
4. I've known this one for a long time but it's worth repeating...even though God knows the desires of your heart and he knows what you need, he still wants to hear from you and if you talk to him, he will listen and he will bless you. It might not be on your time but it will be on His time! The Prayer of Jabez is one of my favorites!
Tomorrow is my birthday. I plan to spend the day with mom, Gabby and Jen shopping at the outlet malls in Fremont. I looked at Brad tonight and said, "Well, tomorrow's my birthday and I'm not crying about it this year." He agreed and let me know how that got to be a little depressing for everyone last year (joking) but it's true. I look forward to this weekend and this new year! I know there are great things in store!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sight Words and Environmental Reading
O.k. so I don't know about you but it's been awhile since I've been to kindergarten, or even known a kid that's going well enough to know exactly what they are doing now. Let me just tell you, it's not cutting, coloring and gluing anymore! We're talking about reading and we're only into the 4th or 5th week of school. It never occured to me that kids can actually learn to read without having to sound words out. It's called "Environmental Reading" and this is what it is.....think about what you see when you're driving through the city. You see all kinds of signs and emblems and you automatically know the place you're driving by. For instance, you don't need to see the words "McDonald's or Taco Bell" to know it's a restaurant. If you see the sign, you know where you are. Well, I'm learning that Gabby has already learned to read without me even really teaching her. Now, 70% of this is her knowing the symbols but there are some things that have no symbols and she knows it just by the writing.
So in her class, her teacher has this thing called the "I can read" bag. Each night, a different student is to bring it home and cut and paste words out of a magazine, off cereal boxes, you get the point...onto a piece of paper and then stick it in a plastic sleeve in a binder and take it back to school. So today was our day. She was so excited to get this bag and we had to run some errands after school so she was reading to me what some of the other kids had put in the binder so far. As she rattled off word, after word, I knew she recognized them but mostly because of the symbol. Suddenly, I heard her say (as she was running down the list) "Mary Kay." Now, I know that Mary Kay doesn't have a particular symbol in it's ads. It may have a compact but it wouldn't have been big enough to fit on this sheet of paper so it was just the words. I couldn't believe she knew it. When we got home, we sat down immediately to get this assignment completed so it was off the "to do" list for the night. Here is a list of things that she knew....
Pepsi
Wii
Macaroni and Cheese (Kraft, what kid doesn't know this one!)
Zyrtec
Wal-Mart (just words)
Capri Sun
Mary Kay
Verizon (What!? You know Verizon?)
iCarly (Fav. t.v. show)
Burger King
Hannah Montana
Wendy's
The word "go."
She also knows McDonald's and Sonic but we didn't find those words in a magazine today. And I'm sure there are words that we are missing but WOW I was pretty impressed with my little 5 year old. In the classroom, they are also working on sight words like, "I", "the", "and", you get the point so every two weeks, she brings home a literacy folder with books they have made and a list of their sight words for us to continue reviewing as they add more and more new words to their list.
So in case you were wondering what goes on in kindergarten....there's a whole lotta reading going on!
So in her class, her teacher has this thing called the "I can read" bag. Each night, a different student is to bring it home and cut and paste words out of a magazine, off cereal boxes, you get the point...onto a piece of paper and then stick it in a plastic sleeve in a binder and take it back to school. So today was our day. She was so excited to get this bag and we had to run some errands after school so she was reading to me what some of the other kids had put in the binder so far. As she rattled off word, after word, I knew she recognized them but mostly because of the symbol. Suddenly, I heard her say (as she was running down the list) "Mary Kay." Now, I know that Mary Kay doesn't have a particular symbol in it's ads. It may have a compact but it wouldn't have been big enough to fit on this sheet of paper so it was just the words. I couldn't believe she knew it. When we got home, we sat down immediately to get this assignment completed so it was off the "to do" list for the night. Here is a list of things that she knew....
Pepsi
Wii
Macaroni and Cheese (Kraft, what kid doesn't know this one!)
Zyrtec
Wal-Mart (just words)
Capri Sun
Mary Kay
Verizon (What!? You know Verizon?)
iCarly (Fav. t.v. show)
Burger King
Hannah Montana
Wendy's
The word "go."
She also knows McDonald's and Sonic but we didn't find those words in a magazine today. And I'm sure there are words that we are missing but WOW I was pretty impressed with my little 5 year old. In the classroom, they are also working on sight words like, "I", "the", "and", you get the point so every two weeks, she brings home a literacy folder with books they have made and a list of their sight words for us to continue reviewing as they add more and more new words to their list.
So in case you were wondering what goes on in kindergarten....there's a whole lotta reading going on!
Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11/01
September 11, 2001. It was a beautiful, crisp morning. The sky was a hue of blue that was so bright, it was almost blinding. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. I remember it feeling kind of cool outside but you just knew by the afternoon commute home, you'd be blasting the a/c. I hopped into my tan cutlass to make my way to work. I had finshed college that previous summer and had taken a job as a preschool teacher at a brand new KinderCare daycare. I had 12 students, 8 boys and 4 girls and if I didn't show up with my "game face" on, those boys would over take me, without a doubt, any day. As I was driving to work that morning, I heard the d.j. come over the radio and announce that one of the towers had been hit. At that time, they were speculating that it was an accident. When you hear this kind of news happening at such a distance away, you think to yourself how awful it is but you just go about your duties.
I arrived at work, entered the building and started my day with our usual circle time and morning activities. About 15 minutes after I got there, our cook came in and informed us (adults) of the latter devastation that had taken place. We had t.v.'s in our rooms but, for obvious reasons, were not allowed to turn them on. I remember talking on my cell phone to Brad and my mom, all while keeping an eye on my students while they were working in their centers. There was a feeling of panic in me and if I could just talk to the two people I was closest to, maybe they would tell me I was dreaming. By 10 or 10:30 that morning, America was gaining a better understanding of what was going on and pure panic hit the adults that were in the building that day. Our manager demanded that we proceed as "normal" but when you learn of that kind of news, it's kind of hard to "act normal." It wasn't long and we had parent's starting to return to pick their children up early in hopes of regaining a sense of safety again. I clearly remember sheer pandemonium as parent's were coming in, describing to us what it was like out on the roads and particularly at gas stations. Gas prices had skyrocketed to over $4.00/gallon and people were lined up clear out to the street to get gas. Looking back, I realize how dumb that is, it was almost as if they all thought New York was our main supplier of gas or something but devastation will make us do crazy things. The entire day at KinderCare was a blur but I do remember by mid-afternoon, we had finally convinced our boss to let us put a video in for the kids. Our numbers were down and our ability to focus had gone down with the twin towers at 8:30 that morning.
On my commute home, there was no music to be played on the radio. Instead, it was announcements about where you could go to donate blood and anything else that fit into the horrifying topic of that day. I remember feeling as if it was all so surreal as I still had not seen a t.v. screen to confirm everything that I had heard. I would even go so far as to say that for just a short time, I wondered if this wasn't the "end times." I do know one thing for sure, Satan was working overtime that day and I'm sure he was pleased with his work!
When I arrived back at my apartment, Brad was there waiting for me, along with my roommate and her boyfriend and a girlfriend of ours that lived alone and was just simply scared to go home. She didn't have any family near so she hung out with us that night.
When I think about that day, I realize that at some point previous to that, I became an adult as I don't remember ever being so scared that I wanted to go home and be with my parent's and siblings. It's not that I don't love them, I just knew I had met my lifelong soul mate and that's who I wanted to go home to. He gave me such a sense of protection and security when I was with him and that's what I needed after that day, to feel protected and safe.
Once I got home, I was glued to the t.v. for a strong 3-4 hours. I remember going through the disbelief, then the feeling of wondering when/if it was going to happen again and then just being pissed off that someone would be so evil to have plotted and planned something so herendous. I was amazed at how our country came together and gave blood or went to ground zero to help with clean up and so many other heroic efforts that were put forth that day and for years after. It made me proud to be a citizen here.
When I was growing up, I remember hearing stories of people that knew and remembered exactly where they were the day Kennedy was shot. I never truly understood the significance of that until 9/11/01 and now I know exactly what they mean.
If you know how to leave a comment here, I'd love to know your "9/11" story!
I arrived at work, entered the building and started my day with our usual circle time and morning activities. About 15 minutes after I got there, our cook came in and informed us (adults) of the latter devastation that had taken place. We had t.v.'s in our rooms but, for obvious reasons, were not allowed to turn them on. I remember talking on my cell phone to Brad and my mom, all while keeping an eye on my students while they were working in their centers. There was a feeling of panic in me and if I could just talk to the two people I was closest to, maybe they would tell me I was dreaming. By 10 or 10:30 that morning, America was gaining a better understanding of what was going on and pure panic hit the adults that were in the building that day. Our manager demanded that we proceed as "normal" but when you learn of that kind of news, it's kind of hard to "act normal." It wasn't long and we had parent's starting to return to pick their children up early in hopes of regaining a sense of safety again. I clearly remember sheer pandemonium as parent's were coming in, describing to us what it was like out on the roads and particularly at gas stations. Gas prices had skyrocketed to over $4.00/gallon and people were lined up clear out to the street to get gas. Looking back, I realize how dumb that is, it was almost as if they all thought New York was our main supplier of gas or something but devastation will make us do crazy things. The entire day at KinderCare was a blur but I do remember by mid-afternoon, we had finally convinced our boss to let us put a video in for the kids. Our numbers were down and our ability to focus had gone down with the twin towers at 8:30 that morning.
On my commute home, there was no music to be played on the radio. Instead, it was announcements about where you could go to donate blood and anything else that fit into the horrifying topic of that day. I remember feeling as if it was all so surreal as I still had not seen a t.v. screen to confirm everything that I had heard. I would even go so far as to say that for just a short time, I wondered if this wasn't the "end times." I do know one thing for sure, Satan was working overtime that day and I'm sure he was pleased with his work!
When I arrived back at my apartment, Brad was there waiting for me, along with my roommate and her boyfriend and a girlfriend of ours that lived alone and was just simply scared to go home. She didn't have any family near so she hung out with us that night.
When I think about that day, I realize that at some point previous to that, I became an adult as I don't remember ever being so scared that I wanted to go home and be with my parent's and siblings. It's not that I don't love them, I just knew I had met my lifelong soul mate and that's who I wanted to go home to. He gave me such a sense of protection and security when I was with him and that's what I needed after that day, to feel protected and safe.
Once I got home, I was glued to the t.v. for a strong 3-4 hours. I remember going through the disbelief, then the feeling of wondering when/if it was going to happen again and then just being pissed off that someone would be so evil to have plotted and planned something so herendous. I was amazed at how our country came together and gave blood or went to ground zero to help with clean up and so many other heroic efforts that were put forth that day and for years after. It made me proud to be a citizen here.
When I was growing up, I remember hearing stories of people that knew and remembered exactly where they were the day Kennedy was shot. I never truly understood the significance of that until 9/11/01 and now I know exactly what they mean.
If you know how to leave a comment here, I'd love to know your "9/11" story!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Bedtime Giggles
Some of you may not know this but, we have got the World's Cutest Boy living right here, under our roof! Now, some days, his cuteness is all he's got going for himself because he's having a rough day but no matter what, he's adorable. I can hardly stand it when those big brown eyes look at me with frustration or sadness in them but my favorite is when he smiles, not only with his mouth but with his whole face.
Bedtime is a great time to see this. He loves to have me lay down with him in his new bed so we lay down together and I rub his back for a few minutes. I always ask him if he'd like me to sing but the answer is always, "NO!" So we just lay there in silence. He knows he's supposed to be trying to sleep so sometimes, if he isn't wanting to be held, I just turn my back to him so he'll settle down. The best part is when I roll over and open my eyes and his meet mine. As soon as he sees me looking at him, he squints his eyes shut as hard as he can and crinkles up his nose and then just smiles from ear to ear. It never fails, I can't help but giggle out loud and then he opens his eyes and giggles too!
As much as I dread fighting the bedtime battle with the kids at night, this is one of my favorites! It will make a great story for me to tell him someday.
Bedtime is a great time to see this. He loves to have me lay down with him in his new bed so we lay down together and I rub his back for a few minutes. I always ask him if he'd like me to sing but the answer is always, "NO!" So we just lay there in silence. He knows he's supposed to be trying to sleep so sometimes, if he isn't wanting to be held, I just turn my back to him so he'll settle down. The best part is when I roll over and open my eyes and his meet mine. As soon as he sees me looking at him, he squints his eyes shut as hard as he can and crinkles up his nose and then just smiles from ear to ear. It never fails, I can't help but giggle out loud and then he opens his eyes and giggles too!
As much as I dread fighting the bedtime battle with the kids at night, this is one of my favorites! It will make a great story for me to tell him someday.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Hanging on to summer...
Usually, on September 1, I get up into my attic closet and pull out all of my fall decorations. As I get older, I notice by this time of year, I usually have had enough summer heat that I'm looking forward to sweatshirts and jeans and having a change of scenery. However, that's not the case this year. September 1 came and went last week and I didn't even think about pulling out my pumpkins. Maybe it was the fact that I knew we had a busy weekend and I had my in-laws coming into town and staying with us. I knew I had a house to clean, speech therapy on Friday and then the Tin Caps game on Friday night. Carson has been very "off' lately and required quite a bit of my time and attention so it's been hard to get anything done in short time. In addition, I knew I had to be at church on Sunday to work Children's Ministry. But, I don't think it was the business of my life at all. Let's face it, we've had a very cool summer, not many days that even hit the 90 degree mark and although we had a wonderful summer, I don't think I'm quite ready for the shorter, colder days. Farmer's Almanac is calling for a bitterly cold winter. Whether the almanac is valid or not, the fact of the matter is, we live in Indiana, it IS going to get cold and it IS going to snow here.
As I sat in the chair, rocking Carson tonight and reading books to him, I realized it wasn't even 9:00 yet and it was pitch black outside. While I'm doing a lot better at looking forward to the changing of the seasons now, compared to when I was a kid, I find myself trying to hang on to summer as long as I can. Now where are those pumpkins???
As I sat in the chair, rocking Carson tonight and reading books to him, I realized it wasn't even 9:00 yet and it was pitch black outside. While I'm doing a lot better at looking forward to the changing of the seasons now, compared to when I was a kid, I find myself trying to hang on to summer as long as I can. Now where are those pumpkins???
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Carson Update
I thought it would be good to put out and update on my boy! Therapy is going well. Both ladies seem to love him (how could they not) and he is very receptive to having them here. I can tell he's getting more comfortable with his OT as this morning, she was trying to get him to do something and he refused once and then followed through. He is doing much better with transitioning in the morning when he first wakes up and also when he wakes from his naps. Going from the house to the car is going better, as long as I give him prompts for the last 15-20 minutes before leaving. If we spring it on him, it doesn't go very well. Bath time is still a struggle. I got home tonight after cleaning and Brad had an exhausted look on his face. He asked me to never ask him to give Carson a bath again because it was miserable. I laughed out loud and asked him if he thought it was a walk in the park when I had to bathe him!
Eating is still an issue as there are few foods he will eat. I have a hard time understanding how someone can eat the same thing, day in, day out and never mix it up but it seems to work for him. I guess I won't fix it then! Speech is going o.k. We've only had 2 sessions but we're now on a regular rotation so we will get services at least once a week. Occasionally, I can get him to work on his speech activities with me but it's a rarity. The OT activities seem to go much better.
Last week, I tried to put socks on him for the first time since spring and he didn't like it at all! I didn't put up a fight the first day as I knew it may take some adjustment so then the second day we tried it again. He ripped them right off so I tried again later. He cried but he kept them on and then didn't want to take them off so he wore them for over 24 hours until I told him they had to come off for his bath. It didn't go great by any means but we got them off.
Overall, I would say that life is starting to get a little easier. I think it's a combination of him making baby steps toward improvement and Brad and I understanding the world he lives in a little better. We're gonna be working at this for awhile but we'll get it figured out!
Eating is still an issue as there are few foods he will eat. I have a hard time understanding how someone can eat the same thing, day in, day out and never mix it up but it seems to work for him. I guess I won't fix it then! Speech is going o.k. We've only had 2 sessions but we're now on a regular rotation so we will get services at least once a week. Occasionally, I can get him to work on his speech activities with me but it's a rarity. The OT activities seem to go much better.
Last week, I tried to put socks on him for the first time since spring and he didn't like it at all! I didn't put up a fight the first day as I knew it may take some adjustment so then the second day we tried it again. He ripped them right off so I tried again later. He cried but he kept them on and then didn't want to take them off so he wore them for over 24 hours until I told him they had to come off for his bath. It didn't go great by any means but we got them off.
Overall, I would say that life is starting to get a little easier. I think it's a combination of him making baby steps toward improvement and Brad and I understanding the world he lives in a little better. We're gonna be working at this for awhile but we'll get it figured out!
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