Our Christmas in a Post...or Two.

Christmas 2010 will definitely go down as one of the most....memorable. We were off to a great start this year. I got a lot of my shopping done early and I was so excited to celebrate with the kids and be with family. Before I get started with this story, let me just randomly remind/tell you that we had new wood laminate floors installed back in August. O.k. so here we go....

December 17th was Gabby's last day of school before break. I went and picked her up from school as we were all getting ready to leave town for the weekend. We had booked a hotel in Noblesville this year and the kids were pumped about swimming and celebrating three different Christmases. We eagerly came home and finished packing the car, had pizza with good friends that night and then hit the ground running Saturday morning with Christmas brunch at Brad's dad house. We were joined by two of Jeff's good friends which I think Brad would agree was a little awkward for us going into it but in the end, it all came out o.k. We had a great morning with Brad's dad and step mom and Brad and I were even able to break away for a couple hours to do some shopping for ourselves! It was so nice to have some one on one time with Brad and just stroll the shops. I love the new Hamilton Crossing Mall!

That afternoon, we left and went to Brad's aunts house to celebrate with Brad's exteneded mom's side. A nice time was had by all and then we went back to the hotel and Gabby and I hit hte pool for a little while before bed. Each morning we were gone, Noblesville was blessed with a beautiful freezing fog that coated all the trees, fence posts, ground, etc...it was gorgeous. There's always a part of me that misses Noblesville when we go back. I love driving over the water and looking at the resevoir!

On Sunday, we slept in (as much as the kids would allow) and then went back over to Brad's dad's house to partake in the brunch leftovers from the morning before as well as collect a few odds and ends that we had forgotten there on Saturday. We then said good bye to them and ventured up the road to Alexandria to spend the rest of the day with Brad's mom Terri, our niece Lauren and my sister in law, Amber. I must say, by this point of the trip, I was TIRED! It takes alot to pack 2 kids, a dog, myself and then make room for the hubby to get in a car and be gone for the weekend, not to mention, all the gifts that needed to go! We enjoyed the day and the kids had a fabulous weekend! Many memories made for sure.

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING! That night, as we were packing the car, preparing to head back home, tired, worn out and just ready to get back home.....my phone rings. It's our neighbor. He knew we were gone for the weekend but wasn't sure when we'd be back home. I'll never forget his first words.

Jason: "Hi. Is this Stacy?"
Me: Yes, what's up, Jason?"
Jason: Well, I don't want to alarm you but I just got home and there's ice on the driveway in front of your house so I walked over there and you have water running out from under your garage door and I can hear water running inside your garage.

I don't really remember much after that other than hauling the kids into the car at 90 miles an hour, quickly, half assing our hugs to family and booking it for home! Because our neighbor didn't have a way of getting into our house, we spent the next hour and fifteen minutes wondering, dreading, imagining what we were going to find when we got back home. It was AWFUL!

When we arrived home, we found water all over the garage....and almost over our entire first floor. Brad and I were both devastated when we came in and thought our laminate was safe but then stepped on it and saw water coming up through the seems. I was so sad! These floors that I LOVED and took pride in had to be torn up that night to prevent any mold from forming. We found water in one of our walls as well.

So this ends part one of our Christmas 2010.....more to come! Sorry to end abruptly but I am getting tired.

Lots of Change

Whoever once said that "The only thing consistent is change" was absolutely right. We have been through a lot of change...again. All for the better I must say but Wow! When I look back at what our last 6 months have been like, I am amazed. As I posted back in July or August, Brad had left the business of insurance agent and moved back to Medical Protective to insure a better future for all of us. We had great insurance/benefits and the salary was satisfactory. While I can't say that Brad was completely satisfied there (broken promises from the beginning) he had decided to settle for now due to our need for the things that MedPro could give him.



When September rolled around, a call came in one day that was completely unexpected. It was AAA. Yes, as in AAA Motorclub Membership! Brad had sent them a resume back in the spring but had never heard back so he had forgotten about the job however, it was his dream job. Work from home, travel around to offices helping people sell insurance AND a company car! If you know what Brad is driving now, you will understand why this was a perk to him! :)



Brad ended up doing several phone interviews with AAA and then got a call one Monday in October. The voice on the other end of the line explained that out of 150 applicants, Brad had made the top 5 and they wanted him in Chicago by Friday for a final interview. At this point, Brad didn't have too many sick/vacation days built up yet at Medpro so we really didn't know if it was worth the risk or not but we prayed about it and decided if he didn't take the risk, we'd never know if he'd have gotten the job and sometimes you just need to go for it, so he did! He made a day trip to Chicago (8 hours of driving total) and interviewed. I think we were both nervous all day as I found myself several times throughout the day just praying for him and asking for God's guidance through it all. Five people interviewing for just one job! Would it be worth the time off work, the drive and gas for it?



The following Monday, by 2p.m. we got the call. HE HAD BEEN HIRED! If he accepted, he would have 3-4 weeks of training in Chicago before being released to work from home. We were both nervous about him being gone from home so much but we knew that they offered a great benefits package and the salary they offered was more than we ever expected so we felt it was a no brainer. We definitely felt like God's plan was coming together, after months of not knowing exactly where he was guiding us to. Chicago was NEVER on our radar! So he accepted!



Brad started training about 2 weeks later. While I was so nervous about him being away overnight, I was also excited for him and the opportunity that had arose. I truly felt like we could not let this go. The first week Brad was gone, he left on a Sunday and came back on a Friday night. It was almost like our marriage had been refreshed because we got so much one on one conversation through talking on the phone after the kids had gone to bed. We have never had a bad marriage but it was like we both took the time to give each other undivided attention because we hadn't seen each other during the day and hardly were able to talk.



The week of Thankgiving, we took Gabby and Carson out of school and travelled with them. It was great to get away and spend the night before the holidays hit. We spent alot of our time swimming in the pool, meeting Brad for lunch during the day and even hit a movie, "Megamind" while we were there. I think Brad enjoyed having us there at night when he got off work and we loved being able to be there with him. You can't beat a free hotel stay in Chicago, can you???



After Thanksgiving, Brad had about 2 more weeks of training up there before he was done. It got a little long at the end but we fought through it and it was great to have him home the entire month of December.



Brad's territory starts up in the South Bend/Mishawaka area and stretches down toward Muncie. He has around 48 offices that he looks over and helps ensure they are happy with the service that AAA offers them. He is working with insurance offices just like the one that he used to work in so he has a pretty good idea of how they all operate which makes it nice for him. He loves it and we love having him work from home on the days he's not out on the road. He is hoping to get his company car this spring! He is truly living his dream and it is great to see him so happy again!

Our Outstanding Otter

This is our little "Outstanding Otter" and she has made her mom and dad one proud set of parents! A couple of weeks ago, as I was working on some things with her teacher, Mrs. Longenberger let me know that Gabby would be receiving an Outstanding Otter Award at the River Rally that week on Friday morning. We were invited to attend and I knew that we would not miss it. The River Rally is a gathering that is held in the gym twice a month to recognize kids for outstanding attitudes and achievements.

The timing could not have been more perfect as Brad was in between jobs and so he would also be able to attend. Gabby did not know that she was getting this award so our attending would be a total surprise to her.

That morning, we got her up and rushed her out the door for breakfast at school. She was not too excited about having breakfast at school this morning (who knows why...normally she wants to eat there) but we knew we had to be back at the school by 8a.m. so we needed her there by 7:30 so we would have time to get ready and back to the school without her knowing. We made it back in time and assumed our positions on the bleachers. Gabby walked right by us and never even saw us which was great because then she wouldn't be suspecting anything.

When it was her teacher's turn to announce the award, she walked up to the front of the gym and asked Gabby to come down to the front. Gabby's teacher then explained that she was giving the "Outstanding Otter Award" to Gabby because she always works hard, is a helper in class and is a friend to everyone she meets. This was a very proud and very humbling experience for me as I watched her receive her award. She has grown up so fast and so well! I know we're not perfect but I think we must be doing something right.

Gabby, you are a beautiful, confident 6 year old and I am so proud you are my daughter. You are going to change the world with your smile and your positive outlook on life. I hope you never lose your zest, energy and free spirit! Thank you for being such a light in my life. God has blessed me so much by making you my little girl. I love you!

Change of Lifestyle

Have you ever been so happy....for......someone else that you were just giddy???? I mean like you could feel the adrenaline almost rushing? That's how I felt recently when my mother in law moved into a new apartment. For 26 years, Teri has lived in a very simple, two bedroom apartment. When I say simple, there is no other word for it. It had two bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. There was no dishwasher, no washer and dryer and no garage.

Terri leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning so every time there was a snowstorm, she would have to go out and dig herself out (she's single). It became obvious over the past year that she should start looking for a new place to live because the maintenance man (in my opinion) became pathetically lazy. At least 2 or 3 times, Terri's toilet would break and leak water all over the bathroom. If it was over a weekend, Terri had to turn the water to her toilet off and use a neighbor's bathroom and shower because maintanence was not coming to fix it on a weekend.

A couple months ago, Terri went and looked at an apartment complex for 55 and up in which she really liked. She wanted to downsize but there were only two 1 bedroom apartments and neither one of them was available, so she put herself on a waiting list. She recently got a call that a one bedroom had opened up and wondered if she wanted to take it. You should know that this apartment includes: a dishwasher, a washer/dryer hook up and...A GARAGE!

On October 9, Terri got the keys to her new apartment and I am thrilled to report that she is so happy there! And the icing on the cake.............two weeks ago, she got a bonus at work and purchased her first brand new washer/dryer so she will no longer have to leave her home (especially in the winter time) to do her laundry. Brad and I got to assist her in the hunt for them and it was so fun watching her look at them and decide which set she wanted.

For 26 years, she washed dishes by hand, carried her clothes to the laudromat every week and dug herself out from the snow. What a change of lifestyle. Yes, it could have been worse but now she no longer has to do any of that, and it all warms my heart!

Proud Mama

I got an email from Gabby's teacher last week and it went something like this...

"Just wanted to let you know Gabby wrote three pages in her journal this morning about being a good citizen. She also wrote about the American Flag. I think she is going to have a knack for Social Studies."

As Gabby's mom, this filled my eyes with tears to read. I deeply feel that everything a child grows up to be, starts at home when they are small and I mean before 1 year. Discipline has to start the minute they push the boundaries, even if they're just starting to crawl and learning how to get into things. Don't get me wrong, I childproofed my home but my kids also had to learn they had boundaries within our house they had to abide by. That same child also needs to know what it feels like to be loved. If you discipline a child strictly and yet neglect to show them love, you may be on the path to disaster.

I think sometimes we as parent's need the affirmation that we're doing a good job through encouragement but it means even more when you get an example of it from a teacher or another professional that may see your child on a day to day basis.

Gabby has been taught since she was a toddler that we treat people nicely and with respect. Talking back is not allowed in this house and she knows we won't stand for it. This may sound too harsh but I am not here to be Gabby's "friend," she has plenty of those at school, trust me! Brad and I are far from perfect but I feel we do a good job of leading by example and exercise honesty whenever the issue arises. I'm sure I've fallen at this in the past but we work hard to teach our kids that honesty is the best policy....ALWAYS!

So when I got that email, it made me proud of her and what we've instilled in her in just 6 short years! Like I said, we may not be perfect but I think we're on the right path.

Just had to share...

THERE IS STILL GOOD IN THE WORLD! As you may or may not know, after Nomar passed away, we got Gabby a new bunny. We named her "Emmy." When we went to the store to pick a bunny out, I specifically told the guy helping us, "We want a female." He then said, "All the rabbits in this cage are females. You can pick any one out." So, thinking the guy knew what he was talking about, we picked out our "Emmy" and have loved her ever since.

During that first week that she was here, (about 2 weeks ago) I noticed that Emmy was peeing out of her cage. Gross, I know! But, being the country girl that I am, I thought that seemed weird. I never had that problem with Nomar. That was why I wanted a female, in addition to the fact that I didn't want to have to worry about spaying/neutering.

Well, last week, I decided to "check things out" for myself and see if Emmy really was the girly girl that the pet store clerk claimed her to be. GUESS WHAT?! HE WAS WRONG! That's right, our dear little Emmy is now Emmitt. Now wait, it gets even better...........

so, now knowing that we have a male that is going to need to be neutered (I am not dealing with his spraying much longer) I started calling around to vet offices today to see what the going rate was for a neuter. While doing this, I get half annoyed because I'm thinking, I went in there asking for a female and left thinking I bought a female and now SURPRISE! gotcha! I called my mom and was telling her about it and then I said, "I've got half a mind to call that pet store and see if they will help me pay for the neuter." I know Gabby's not going to want an exchange and I can't even blame her. At this point, we've had Emmit almost a month, she's pretty attached. My mom agrees that it's not a bad idea so, exit convo with mom and dial up the pet store. I kindly tell them my situation and at first they tell me they can give me an exchange if I bring the rabbit in. I let them know that my daughter is pretty attached and that's not going to work. At this point, I'm ready to call it a loss and not worry too much further about it. Then, the clerk I'm talking to says, "Hold on a minute." and I hear her talking again to her manager. She gets back on the phone and says, "If you can come in today, we'll refund your money." WHAT? You'll REFUND MY MONEY? Wow! I wasn't expecting a full refund. So, after school, I haul the kids to the pet store and they give me my money back! I was floored!

I am so impressed with their kindness that I will recommend them to anyone and from now on, when I have pet needs, they will get my business. Thank you, "Petland" on Maysville Rd. You're the best!

On the agenda for tomorrow, calling one of those vets back and getting a neuter appt. made!

Six Years

I find it hard to believe that six years ago today, we packed up our six month old little girl, a miniature daschund and a whole truck full of stuff and left our first home as a family to move to Fort Wayne. I'll never forget sitting in the chair, rocking Gabby to sleep the night before we were set to depart and crying as it was such a bittersweet time for me. I loved our home and yet I yearned to be a little closer to my side of the family. I was sad, exhausted and excited for the future that lied ahead and yet it was hard to leave the home that Brad and I had made in our first house together.
We left the next day and moved into a small, 2 bedroom apartment as our house was still up for sale and the commute that Brad was making each day from Noblesville to Fort Wayne was wearing on both of us. Little did we know, the strain on our finances would be felt even more as we struggled to pay a mortgage and an apartment rent on top of it.

As I look back, there are times that I KNOW, without a doubt that if our marriage had not been strong, we would have never made it. I won't say the last six years has been easy but I will say it's been it's been "doable" because of two things, I believe in a God that will help me get through any situation that I come into AND I married a man that I am confident will never leave me, no matter how "tough the goin" might get! If I have those two things in my life, I can survive and grow through anything.

Mr. Swimmy

Well, we experienced our third pet death in under 3 weeks, this morning. I don't know why all of a sudden we're having this much trouble, but we are. Last Friday night at about the same time our beloved Nomar passed on, two weeks before, Gabby found one of her fish dead in the tank. While she took this loss MUCH better than the bunny, (and I thought it comical when I text Brad and asked him if he could bury the fish when he got home) it was still sad for her and yet another reality check that death is real and it's premanent. By the way, we flushed the fish.

On Saturday, we went and got another fish because you see, the one that died is the kind that actually did most of the tank cleaning for me. We brought him home and the kids named him "Mr. Swimmy." Well, today is Thursday, five days after we brought "Mr. Swimmy" home and as Carson and I were feeding them this morning, Brad walked into the kitchen and asked how the new fish was doing. I responded by saying, "Oh, he's doing great! He was swimming all over yesterday." At the same exact time I said that, I noticed "Mr. Swimmy" was lying belly up on the bottom of the tank. I knew immediately that was going to mean a fast trip to the store this afternoon to get back and have another one in the tank by the time Miss Gabby got home from school.

As I was putting "Mr. Swimmy" in a ziploc bag and throwing him into the freezer..because, you see, I had a full morning, I didn't want him to stink and I was not paying for another one, Carson asked me, "Mr. Swimmy died?" I responded by saying yes and Carson was over it and skipping out the door to school. So....after I picked him up from school, I rushed home, fed him lunch and called the aquarium store. They were open so I grabbed a sample of water from the tank, our now very cold "Mr. Swimmy" and my son to head off to get "Mr. Swimmy, Part 2." We rush to the store, the lady tests my water, tells me 12 things that are wrong with it and what to do about it. She also sells me $12 worth of stuff, gives me some freebies, including a new "Mr. Swimmy." We leave the store, get in the car and I am bustin it to get home because as luck would have it, the "fish lady" tells me I need to vaccuum my tank and add the new chemicals BEFORE I add the new fish to ensure he doesn't kick the bucket too!

While we're driving home, Carson is saying to me, "We got new "Mr. Swimmy? The other one died?" Yes, Carson, that's right. Carson: "I tell Boppy we got new Mr. Swimmy!" WHOA! Ummm....NO! So, here I am, trying to convince Carson that it's not necessary that we tell Gabby about this. We get home, I have 1 hour to clean the tank, add the chemicals and wait 30 minutes for the chemicals to cycle through before I can add this new fish. During this time, I distract Carson by letting him watch his favorite cartoon, hoping and praying to the aquarium gods that he will forget about the new, improved "Mr. Swimmy" before we bring Gabby home.

I get everything done and I get Mr. Swimmy put into the tank. All the fish are happy and I am one relieved mama! We go to school, get Gabby and come home. Things are going well and I am feeling good. I come into the living room and am laying on the floor with the kids, wrestling around when Gabby says to me, "Mom, I really miss Nomar." At this point, I am gasping inside because I know what's coming, 3-2-1....Carson: We got a new Mr. Swimmy today! Dee udder one died." I lay still, staring into space.

Gabby's response...."Mom, I think he's got Mr. Swimmy mixed up with Nomar."

Me...Sigh..."O. O.k." Thinking to myself, just go with it!

Turning 32

I was just flipping through past posts and read my post from two years ago, my "turning 30" post. I remember that birthday like it was yesterday. I cried two days before because I did not want to say good bye to the 20's. On the way home from cleaning a house (in which I cried while I was cleaning) I got a call from a good friend to wish me an early happy birthday. I remember trying to hide the fact that I wasn't excited but ended up telling her that I was a mess!

Well, I'm happy to report that the last first two years of my thirties have been great! While I often wonder where my energy is, I am healthy and happy. I am so happily married and have got two of the cutest and greatest kids on Earth so what's there not to be happy about?!

For me, it's crazy to think that I have now had a driver's license for exactly half of my life. Think about that....I've been driving half my life! I remember the day I got my license. My mom needed something run over to a friend who lived about a mile or two from our house. I thought I'd do her the favor of taking it for her. Why not? I was legal! I took off and was only gone for a short time but when I did get back, ended up getting reamed out because I left the house and didn't tell them where I was going. I couldn't understand what the big deal was at the time but now that I'm a mom, I think I'd have probably FREAKED OUT too!

All this to say, life is good and the thirties are treating me well! Look out, 40! I'm not crying over you in another 8 years (or at least I'm not planning to.)

Psalm 46:10

"Be still and know that I am God." A verse I don't think about enough and follow enough. The past couple of Sunday's our pastor has been talking about slowing down and making room for LIFE. We live in such a fast paced world that we often forget what that means and the importance of slowing down to just rest, and hear what God is telling us. Sometimes, we get so caught up on "being busy" that we forget to slow down and take care of the things that are really important. This includes rest, that's right....good old sleep! It's hard to slow our minds down at night because of all the stimulus we take in during a day's time. We also spend a lot of time living in the future instead of the here and now. We're caught up thinking about what's coming next or how we're gonna make the next big buck. Don't get me wrong, with the economy the way it is, there are times we need to think that way just to survive.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe just to say that there are some things I can't discuss right now that Brad and I are struggling with and today's sermon really hit home.

"BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD." Two instructions. Simply put.

I shared with Brad today how I really think we need to just take some time to slow down and hear what God is really trying to say to us. The hard part about this is that sometimes, it just takes time. For now....I am going to try to be patient...and still....and know that HE is there. Every. Step. Of. The. Way.

A Difficult Change of Perspective

There's no doubt this weekend was tough (refer to previous post). I am tired and drained. I have nothing to give. It's 10:15 and I just got off the couch and am debating on whether I should get dressed.

Losing a pet is hard, especially when that pet was allowed in your home and became a part of the family. Before you have kids, losing a pet is devastating. I remember losing my bunny that I had in college. He had suddenly fell ill also and died at the vets office. It's an awful feeling to get the call that your pet is gone and then they ask, "How would you like to pay the bill?" at 2a.m. even if it is just a rabbit. Before you have kids, your pets are your "babies." They are everything to you, you love them, take care of them and enjoy them so when you lose them, you feel like you've lost the world.

I found this weekend that after you have kids, losing a pet is hard and it's sad but it pails in comparison to the thought of having to lose a child. I don't know how parents that have lost a child, or more than one even go on. I get a sick feeling in my stomach every time I think of it. I just don't think I could continue living. Even when the world seems all wrong, your children are your everything. To lose them is just unimaginable for me. So while I am struggling because I miss the cute things that Nomar did and how good she was with the kids, I am grateful it was a pet and not a child. The hardest part is just helping Gabby grieve. Her pets are her world. One day, she will experience a "difficult change of perspective" too, and I hope I'm here to talk with her about it.

Farewell Nomar

I sit here tonight with my tears. I am sad, heartbroken, exhausted. This evening, at approximately 6:30, we lost our dear pet bunny, Nomar. Nomar came into our life when Gabby was almost 2. At the time, we lived out in the country and I felt Gabby needed something furry to play with. I don't know why a dog didn't seem sufficient at the time, maybe because Benny wasn't too tolerable of her then. So, we set out and bought her a bunny. Being the "farm girl" that I was, I thought, from the looks of it that "Nomar" was a boy. Brad named her after Nomar Garcia who then played for the cubs. As "Nomar" started growing, I realized she wasn't a boy, she was a girl! We kept the name since she'd had it for awhile and Gabby knew how to pronounce it.
We brought Nomar home on a warm summer night and she became Gabby's pet. Gabby LOVED her because she was small enough that she couldn't get away from Gabs so she could pick her up and hold her and pet her fairly easy. I won't say that Gabby never suffered a scratch but it didn't seem to slow her down. I have had ALOT of bunnies in my day and she was the best! She was one of the most tame and friendly rabbits I've ever had. I'm sure this was in part due to the fact she had so much handling when she was young.

Four years ago last week, we moved to the northwest side and Nomar set up home in our garage. Our house has a great big run with a privacy fence and she loved being let loose out there to run around and eat the grass, not to mention, just lay around. She's always been allowed to get cage free time in the house too and was very good about not pottying in the house. In fact, last winter, when it got bitterly cold, I brought her cage into the laundry room. She would get out during the day and when I let Benny out in the run to potty, she would actually follow him out, do her business and come right back in. Nomar did not lack in personality. She could smell a banana from across the room and come begging for it. She loved them! Although Gabby didn't spend every waking moment with Nomar, she did love her and became very attached, as we all did.

Earlier this week, I noticed that Nomar wasn't acting quite like she should. Not having a million dollars in the bank to spend on pets, I thought I'd give it a couple of days and see what happened. By yesterday, she was not eating much so I started calling around to different vets to see which ones would see rabbits. By this morning, I knew she had to go. She wouldn't eat or drink and was kind of lethargic. I had her in at 9:45. The vet thought she looked o.k. I should add here that she had gotten really flaky skin the last week or two. I feared she had mites but the vet thought it was just dry skin. I'll never know how she got it.

Over the course of the day, she became more and more lethargic and was sleeping much more and much harder than I've ever seen her sleep. At about 6:20 tonight, I took her out of her cage and wrapped her in a warm towl. I noticed she could no longer hop properly..her feet were falling out from under her and she couldn't even struggle to get up. I called Brad into the laundry room to discuss where to go from here. 30 minutes prior to this, I had prayed that if she was not going to get better that God would just take her. I didn't want to see her suffer and I didn't want to have to make the decision to have her put down. We decided it was time to go to the vet. Brad put Carson in the car, I explained to Gabby that Nomar wasn't well and I didn't know if she'd be coming back home with us. I had Nomar wrapped in her towel, grabbed my purse and was almost out the door when she let out a few soft cries and took her last breaths, and she peacefully slipped away into what I'd like to think was to Heaven to enjoy the fresh clover and wait until we joined her again.

As she laid so still in her towel, I sobbed in Brad's chest as I knew in the very near future, I would have to tell her best friend, Gabby, that she was gone.

It has been a rough night. But, we've shared laughter and tears over the funny things that Nomar had done throughout her life as a Beeman Bunny. Her burial took place in the run, right in the spot that she loved to lay...picked out by Gabby. May you rest in peace, Nomar! Thank you for being the pet my daughter needed and loved. You gave us 5 great years and you will forever be missed. You were loved!

Time for a post...

I think it's time for an update...actually, it's time for a lot of updates but here's a short one. Now that Carson's in preschool, I plan to get more posted on here but bear with me a couple weeks.

So we've got big news here at the Beeman house! Miracles DO happen! Carson is almost potty trained over the course of 1 week! YES! There is a God!

I was recently given a tip by a girl I graduated high school with on something new I could try with Carson. Something very similar to what I've tried before but not quite the same. So, last Friday, I took Carson with me to Meijer to get some groceries. While there, we visited the toy aisle. I let him pick out a Buzz Lightyear matchbox car, which is pretty cute by the way. We brought it home and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. I then explained to him that we were not going to open the toy until he filled a sticker chart by going to the potty all by himself, while also wearing clothes. We were seeing a lot of his little naked behind because it was the only way he would go on his own. Otherwise, I had to always remember to take him and it was wearing on me. Keep in mind, we've been working on this consistantly since the end of February.

I also explained to him that I would award him with a sticker and a skittle every time he went to the potty by himself. I haven't really acknowledged the accidents, just changed him and went on.

I am elated and proud to say that in the last 6 days, we have had 3 accidents. He's even told me when we're out in public or the car and been able to hold it until we get to a bathroom. So, tomorrow will complete our one week sticker chart and Carson will get his car! I think he's excited but I think I may be even more so! Gonna have to head out tomorrow and get another reward for the shelf. I swear I'll buy $3 match cars for a year if I have to!

A Day Gone Bad

I just wanted to share that as of 7:15 this evening, I have officially put the icing on the cake for Gabby's bad day. A butterfly was accidentally squished by one of her classmates and died at recess and I then finished her off by telling her that I was going to wash her hair tonight when she was in the tub. Isn't that awful? I'm sure none of you would ever wanna have to go through that! :)

I told her that if that's as bad as it got, then she'd be o.k. I also told her that I thought maybe the butterfly was in Heaven but was informed by her that it was not so. Here is how the conversation went,

MOM: "Don't worry about the butterfly. He's probably in Heaven and doing fine."

GABBY: "Um, no, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he's dead, laying in the grass at school and when I go back tomorrow, will probably still be there."

Pardon Me! Now let's finish the night routine so you can go to bed and forget this day EVER happened!

"I saw God today."

Everyone experiences days in their lives in which they will never forget...a wedding, the day you became a parent, being baptized......today was one of those days for me. (Refer to the post previous to this.) Kaitlyn, my new niece, came into the world today and I was one of the first to meet her.

The day was emotional to start out as I was trying to leave Fort Wayne to go to Elkhart (2 hours away) as soon as I dropped off the kids with a friend, I got a text that Jen's water had broke. I don't know why, but panic hit, like I didn't think she could be born without me in the building. After getting stuck behind every car that wanted to drive 10 under the speed limit, I finally arrived at the hospital. I think I must have been bookin it through the building as there was a man that literally moved to the side of the hall when he saw me coming through.

I got to spend about an hour with Jen and before we knew it, she had dilated from 4 to 10 in about 30 minutes and it was time to push. So...my brother and I, along with Josh's mom, left the room to join some other anxious grandparents in the waiting room.

After 2 hours of pushing and 1 hour of some required "skin to skin" time between mother and baby, we were finally allowed to meet Katy. I saw God in that precious baby and was again reminded how amazing our God is. There is a special bond between sisters and just knowing that she was my niece, there was a different kind of love there.

I hated leaving the hospital and I miss her like crazy already. I can't wait until Brad gets home from work Friday so we can go see her. I know Gabby will be ready to meet her and so will Brad, it's been 18 years since he's welcomed a niece into the world.

Before you go...

In less than 24 hours, my sister will be leaving her home and taking a short trip to the hospital where she will be induced for labor. Personally, I am so freakin excited that I can hardly wait to make the long drive from the fort to Elkhart but, she's been on my heart a lot today. I talked to her on the phone tonight and just told her to try and enjoy her day before she leaves tomorrow because it will be the last one she has off for a long time.

There are so many other things I want to say to her. Like, before you go....

Sit down and watch your favorite t.v. show
Take a long, hot shower and enjoy taking it....alone.
Take one last look at the nursery
Make sure you have diapers in all areas of the house, complete with wipes
Enjoy the time you have with Josh..alone, with no interruptions
Relax and sleep well, my dear, sleep WELL

Walk around your house and remember what it feels like RIGHT NOW. It's about to feel so much better, so complete...but there will be times that you will mentally have to take yourself back to just being alone in your house. At times, it will be hard to remember so just savor the moment.

Eat whatever sounds really good to you...once you check in at the hospital, it's gonna be awhile before you eat again.

Remember to encourage and trust Josh to do things with her too. He will need the reassurance.

Prepare yourself for the most wonderful journey that God will ever bless you with, the most outrageous ride of your life. Kate will bless you and change you in ways that you never imagined. You will experience and feel every emotion, deeper than you ever have before. You're going to be a great mama! I can't wait for you to join Mom and I, as well as so many other women in this chapter of life we call motherhood.

Best of luck...I hope I make in time to witness her arrival! I love ya, Jen.

My Tuscon Friend

O.k. so I have a few "Tuscon Friends" living out there right now but I have one particular friend that I got to see last week. She was home for a week so I ventured back to Shipshe to spend some time with her. Tarrah and I grew up together. Our moms were good friends and still are so we were always together when we were little. Tarrah had a baby back in January and this was the first opportunity I've had to meet little Finley. Tarrah and I have always been able to catch up over the years which is quite an accomplishment as I know sometimes when one friend has kids and the other one doesn't, it makes it hard to stay in touch but there was something that connected us even deeper this last visit....it was that mom connection!

Thanks, Tarrah, for always being interested in my kids and how they are doing, even when there was a time that you didn't have any kids. I know this could have split us but it didn't! Can't wait to watch you expand your family and watch Fin grow! She is beautiful!

Let's Flip this Joint

So, we've been in "Home Improvement on a Tight Budget" mode lately (refer to previous post). While Brad was home, in between jobs, he painted my laundry room, which I love. This past Sunday, my sister and brother in law came down and Josh helped Brad mount our big screen t.v. on the wall. We've been wanting to do this for a long time but when we quoted it out, it was going to cost us over $300 to have it done. Well, Mr. Carson had started running his little race cars over the screen...a big no, no for plasma screens...and for daddy. Josh had mounted a few t.v.'s in his life and is pretty good at it. Josh suggested Brad shop Amazon.com for a wall mount and sure enough, he found one...for a whopping $29 that got great reviews. So a job that we thought we'd have to pay a lot more for, we got done pretty cheap and it looks awesome! Thanks, Josh for coming down and helping..and for your perfectionist ways of doing things. It paid off and looks great!

Onto another area of our house, our carpet. Ugh...Brad jokes that it looks like someone drove their car in and changed the oil IN OUR HOUSE! For two years, we've been wanting to put new floors in. We've always wanted wood laminate but felt it was out of our reach...until a couple weeks ago. Brad was at Home Depot and saw laminate was on sale. Knowing we had a friend, also named Josh, who is very good and very meticulous at what he does, Brad called him to see if he'd be willing to help lay the flooring in our living room. Josh was more than happy to help and so.....drum roll please.......in 3 weeks I will have new laminate floors in my living room! For half of what it would have cost us to buy carpet and have it installed, we got laminate that is sitting in our garage, just waiting to come in and become a part of the house. So good-bye to our hideous carpet and hello to beautiful floors that will be much easier to keep clean! I'll post before and after pics when it's done! I'm so excited, can't wait!

Braggin on my Man

So...I wanted to take a little time to brag on Brad. When we first got married....well....let's just start off by saying we were "DINKS" (Dual income no kids) so, if something broke down, there was a pretty good chance we would run out and buy a new one of it before we would even think about fixing it. Stupid, I know. So, as we've had kids and now that the house has hit it's 11 year mark, there have been little things that have started to break down....for example, the toilet flusher...o.k. so people don't typically run out and just buy a new toilet! But, Brad spent two hours one night taking it apart and putting a new one on. Way to go, Brad! Two points!
Then, it wasn't long and the doorknob in the laundry room that goes out to our garage broke and he fixed it. O.k. I get it, that was easy, right?!

So here it comes, the not so easy task....a couple weeks ago, my oven stopped working. I realized it one day when the kitchen reeked of gas and there was no heat in the oven. In fact, Brad came into the house one that night a little concerned because he could smell gas in the garage! We didn't have the money to buy a new one and I gotta admit, the thought of Brad messing around with a gas oven brought visions of our kitchen blowing up! HOWEVER, my man came home that night, looked at the oven and then googled it and found the problem. He ordered the part for $30 and Voila! my oven works and I'm a happy girl!

Did I mention that he painted my laundry room while he was home for a week? Thanks, Brad! I love how you strive to keep things running and looking nice around here! I LOVE YOU!

It's been Bliss!

Two weeks ago today, Brad went back to work in the coorporate world and I must say....it's been bliss. That's not to say that I don't miss Brad being around here more, I do. However, it's been great being home with the kids more and cleaning fewer houses. In fact, by the time my night to clean rolls around, I'm ready for a night out and I get some alone time. Our two weeks have been filled with playdates and trips to the pool and lake. Is my house any cleaner? A big fat NO on that one! Not yet anyway. I decided that we were going to enjoy the last few weeks of summer before Gabby went to school. So, I've been keeping up the laundry on an "as needed" basis and running the vaccuum regularly and of course keeping the toilets clean but other than that, it's been about having fun and spending time with the kids and friends. I can tell my inner self is so much more relaxed and happy. I don't have to stress about how I'm going to fit everything in from week to week and my body is so much more rested (probably helps that Carson has started sleeping all night). I feel like I have energy that I have not seen in a long time and that is so nice!

Let's just say, it's been bliss, so to speak and I am enjoying the time I now have to serve my family!

A Week of Reconnection

Last week, and the end of the week before was filled with time to reconnect with those that I had not seen..........................................in years. I will admit that when I found out Brad would be switching jobs, I booked in ALOT of playdates, as well as some evening company. On one day, I had a friend from high school come down with her two girls. Laura and I decided it had been at least 5 years since we last saw each other. Since then, she has had a darling set of twins (who were very well behaved) and she also works outside the home. They came down and had lunch with us and the girls, along with Carson played SO WELL together. It was a great day of "reconnection" with an old friend. Thanks, Laura, for coming down. Let's get together again soon!

The following Monday, I left in the afternoon, dropped the kids off at my mother-in-laws and then zipped over to Anderson for some dinner with my college roomies. I must say, we had an extra, our friend Teri who wasn't a roommate but was with us so much that she felt like a roommate. Again, over 5 years since I had seen all of them but one! What a difference 5 years will make. ALL of us had kids, some had 3, some 2. Some had struggled to get a family started and some had great experiences with it. I could have sat and talked with those girls all night! Our lives had all changed so much and yet we all still had so much in common, it just wasn't college anymore! Some of them have changed and some are the same but we are all mothers that love our kids and are doing a great job at raising them to be respectful little people in our society.

On Tuesday and Thursday, we had playdates with moms and kids that we know but hadn't been together with in awhile. Again, great company and well behaved kids made for a very fun time. We also had our new Teaching Pastor and his family over one night. They came to our church in November and we have been wanting to get together with them for awhile. Great food, great company! Thanks, everyone who came to our home. It made it easier on me, with Carson.

I think it's good for us to reconnect with friends like that once in awhile. It's good...for the soul!

Struggle with the Truth

I've been struggling with the truth for the past thirty six hours. I got a call yesterday that the new kitten that my mom found and brought home on Christmas eve last year, had been hit by a car and killed. This breaks my heart because Gabby had grown very fond of this kitten, she had even named her "Snowflake." Earlier this summer, the old cat at mom and dad's had died and we had to explain the news to Gabby who was deeply saddened and even to this day mentions that she misses "Allie."

So, I battle with myself. Do I tell her the truth and let her know that Snowflake is no longer with us or do I just wait until we go up there again and if she asks, tell her that maybe Snowflake just ran away? On one hand, I know that honesty is always best and on the other hand, I feel like she will have to deal with death enough in the course of her life so while I can protect her from it, I want to. I don't know...just one of the struggles of being a parent.

I bank myself

So, I thought I should share this story so I can look back and laugh at it...again!

This morning, we had a friend and her 3 girls over and went to the home association pool. Well, after we returned, Carson remained in his swimming trunks but after they left, he decided he didn't need them anymore and preferred to just go naked. I must say he's been quite a handful the past few days and while I was talking to my mom on the phone, he got onto our leather recliner and and was rocking it back and forth, almost to the point of tipping it over completely. I had scolded him twice and finally looked at him and asked if he wanted me to spank him (thinking this would stop the behavior), he took one look at me, got a big grin on his face, bent over on the chair (keep in mind he's naked) and hits himself on the butt repeatedly saying, "I bank myself, I bank myself." I must admit, it hit me funny and I laughed, despite the fact I was so furious at him!

Mama said there'd be days like this!

Half Way House

Whew...it's only Wednesday and what a week it's been already! I am fully enjoying the week and all the time I've had with the kids. Brad's week is going fantastic as well and he has come home beaming with energy the last two nights.

I must say, our house is feeling a bit like a half way house around here. Yesterday, the kids found a giant caterpillar out in the yard (pictures to come soon) and wanted to keep it to see if it would transform into a butterfly. After doing some research, I found out that it is going to be a Columbia Silkmoth, and after seeing the size of the caterpillar, I have no doubts that this moth is gonna be a biggin! After doing more research and announcing on Facebook that I needed some fruit tree leaves, we came downstairs this morning to find him looking a little bit silky. After a couple more hours, there was no question, he was entering his journey as a cocoon so now I'm just hoping he survives and hatches. The kids are so excited. I'm going to try to keep pics to update here on his progress.

I also got a call from a girlfriend today who is really sick. She has a few health problems and they were getting the best of her this week so I went and picked up her daughter who is a good friend of Gabby's and also their dog and brought them both home. We will keep them overnight tonight and see what happens tomorrow. I was grateful that I was able to help. Usually, on Wednesdays, I would be cleaning houses and wouldn't have been around.

So...in the past 24 hours, we've taken in a rather large caterpillar/progressing into cocoon, a dog and a little girl. Tonight I have small group with the girls and am getting some time out. Brad emailed asking if I was still going and then joked about the fact that he was going to be left home with 3 children, 2 dogs, a rabbit, a caterpillar and a tank of fish! That's right, Brad, put up the circus tents....it's sure to be an exciting ride!

A New Chapter, and things I've Learned.

Well, Monday will begin another chapter. Brad will begin his new career at Medpro. It's been great having him home this week. I had another busy week with cleaning so it was nice to just know that he would be home and take care of things while I went off to work. We even joked that I was the breadwinner this week! As I was "wrapping up and winding down" my job as a "cleaning lady" and preparing for my duties to be cut back, I was reflecting on what I've learned during the last 3 years. So...I'll share.

If you're flexible with people when they are in a bind, they will also be flexible with you.

If you're honest with people up front, there will be much grace given. I once was cleaning behind a t.v. at a house and the t.v. fell out of the stand and broke. I was horrified and didn't know how I was ever going to explain it. So glad it wasn't a flat screen! I didn't want to explain it, but, my client came home for something that day and I faced up to it. She exercised so much grace that it blew me away. Thank you, Pat!

When you clean house for someone, you get to know them, even if you don't always see them. You see the kinds of books they read, you learn their styles and sense of decor. You build a relationship with them and you become attached, even to their kids and pets.

You form meaningful relationships. Your clients trust you to come into their homes and clean for them. They trust that you won't take anything out of their homes that don't belong to you and as you build that trust, they give you more.

If those families decide to move away, you miss them! Even though I knew my time was up for cleaning, I have a family that will be moving to Texas in the next couple of weeks. I have grown to love this family as they are some of the most kind people you will ever meet. I am going to miss them, I already do. Good Luck, Coopers!

If they lose a pet, you mourn the loss. No, not like it was your own pet but after spending hours upon hours with these cute little creatures, following you around the house, when you get the news one day that they are gone, you mourn with the family and it hurts. The first time back in that house is so different.

Not only do these families become important to you, you become important to them. They depend on you to come and clean for them, it gives them peace of mind, knowing they will have a clean house at the end of the day, just like it gave me peace of mind that I would have money to help pay the bills.

I was so blessed to have so many great clients. Each one of them became special to me in one way or another and I will never forget them, but be forever grateful to them for allowing me the opportunity to clean for them.

Bittersweet Feelings

There's no doubt the Beeman house continues to be busy. I have spent a bazillion minutes (my cell bill proves it) on the phone with speech and occupational therapy facilities, as well as trying to get Carson in for some "Advanced Behavioral Analysis" training to help improve his social skills. To add to the craziness, we have been doing a lot of thinking and praying as to what the best decision would be concerning Brad's job.

Over the past few months, we have found ourselves turning to God for a lot of guidance as it is very difficult to have a child with special needs and NOT have the type of insurance needed to assist with the services that are required to help him. When you don't have the insurance, unless you are making over $150,000 per year, it's kinda pointless to even think about trying to get services lined up as expenses with just one specialist could easily hit $500 per month.

So...about two months ago, Brad and I had a heart to heart about his job and whether he should continue or start looking for something else. As his wife, I knew that it was Brad's dream to be self employed and eventually own his own insurance agency so it broke my heart when we both agreed that he should look around and possibly return to the corporate world. We both knew it was for the benefit of our family but especially, for Carson but it was still a tough decision.

Brad slowly started looking around and even had a few interviews with some really great company's but nothing was turning out. I was really starting to wonder if God was even there, listening. Deep down, I didn't doubt it, but I just wanted a sign that he was there and active in this situation. One day, Brad called a former boss of his that works at Medical Protective to ask if he could use him as a reference on his resume for a third interview he had. Tim of course obliged but then got to asking why it was that Brad wanted to leave the self employed world and rejoin the corporate world. As Brad explained our situation with Carson and the need for some great insurance, Tim asked him if he would consider returning to Medpro. This came as a shock to both of us as the thought of him going to Medpro had never crossed our minds however, it became evident to both of us that God WAS present in this situation and he had a plan the whole time!

It turns out they had a position available for him now they wanted him to fill and then in 6-12 months, it is expected that Brad will take an outside sales position in selling insurance for the company. If you're not familiar with Medical Protective, they are one of the biggest companies for medical malpractice insurance in the country.

This opportunity was literally dropped in our laps and we strongly felt it was God's way of saying, "It's o.k. I have a plan for you." So, on July 19, Brad will be an employee of Medical Protective and we will have full benefits and insurance! I will no longer have to be on my deathbed in order to go to the doctor....I will have my $10 co-pay back and for that, I am grateful!

It's been very bittersweet because with this opportunity, I will also be able to stop cleaning houses and be home more with the kids. It's hard to tell people that you have cleaned 3 years for that you will no longer be cleaning but is also very refreshing. For the last 3 years, my family has shared me with MOPS, our children's ministry at our church and then also my cleaning job. I finished with kids zone in the late fall, ended my leadership with MOPS in May and now I'm cutting back on cleaning. It is my hope that I will again be able to keep the laundry pile under 5 feet, clean most or all of my house at one time again and just simply be able to relax and enjoy my kids, as well as schedule more playdates and nurture the relationships with other friends that I have so badly neglected the last few years.

With the sadness, comes excitement about the future and new possibilities! Thank you, God for your ever so perfect plan! Now...if you could just watch over me and give me endless and boundless amounts of patience as I spend more time at home with my children, that would be perfect!!!!

Half way to Christmas

That's right friends! Have you thought about the fact that we are half way to Christmas? Well, I have....don't know why but I did! It's hard to believe the year is half over already. I took a little stroll down memory lane to look at the resolutions I blogged about in January and to judge myself to see how I'm doing. I gotta admit, not too shabby!

I still haven't lost the 10 lbs. I want to lose but more importantly, I am spending more time with the kids. We've made a few trips to the park, a few to the zoo, LOTS of time outside, when it's not raining, playing on the swing set and we've even had a few picnics in the backyard for lunch. I bought Brad a firepit for Father's Day and we've had s'mores with the kids, which Gabby thought was GREAT! We've had trips to the library on chilly spring days and I was able to go with Gabby on one of her last kindergarten field trips (thanks, mom for watching Carson that day). With summer being here and in full swing, we've spent a lot of time IN THE WATER! Yeah for water on a hot day. We've been to the lake and the pool quite frequently, all while my house sits in filth but I've learned to let it go and not worry so much. Brad helps quite a bit around the house so that is a blessing and we're hoping in the near future, that I will be able to slow down on my cleaning business and be able to focus even more time on the kids and our own house.

MOPS ended in May and while it's been a bittersweet ending to a 3 year chapter of my life, I am learning to not commit myself to new things right now so I can stay home and focus on serving my family. They've shared me for over 3 years with our church and while I loved serving, it's time for me to let it go and serve at home for awhile. My kids need me, my husband needs me and I need me!

It's been a great summer so far, I hope it doesn't fly me by too quickly!

Two Nieces....Two Stages

I've been thinking a lot this week. In August I will be an aunt to a new niece. My second niece. When I got married, Lauren became my niece and I'm so proud of her. She graduated high school this year and is planning to attend IPFW this fall. She is on her way and has grown so much since I met her when she was 6.

On the other side of the family, I have a niece who has not even entered this crazy world yet. As I look back, I don't always feel that I've done a good job of being an aunt. I was young and newly married and not really thinking about others, and then I had my own kids and became a mom. I'm hoping to make up for that with Lauren during her college years by having her here in Fort Wayne. I'm also hoping to be more aware of my responsibilities as an aunt with Katelyn and support my sister and brother in law in raising her.

Going to Grandma's.....well, kind of.

I went to my sister's first baby shower today. She is due in August so the reality is really hitting now that I will soon have a new niece here and I am growing anxious! I can't wait to have a tiny baby to love on and then say, "Well, (yawn) I think I'm gonna head home and go to bed. Good-bye!"

The shower was held at my grandma's.....old...house. Her house was sold 3 years ago to a couple that I've known most of my life. They remodeled it and now their grandson, wife and great-grandson live in the house. This was my first visit back since the sale and, it was...bizarre to say the least. I have so many memories from my childhood years built up in this house and before I went in, I remembered it, just as it always was. The second I walked in the front door, it was gone. I had trouble picturing everything, until I saw the desk area that was still in the same spot. I was able to get a few visions back from the way things used to be but it was difficult.

It wasn't my grandma's house anymore.

Was it beautiful? Absolutely.

Am I happy this couple has made that place home? I couldn't have chosen anyone better myself. They take excellent care of it and have it looking very nice. They certainly don't lack "pride of ownership" as Brad would say. But there is a certain sadness that goes with it.

I don't know, just some thoughts.....

Teary Eyed

Today was Gabby's last day of school. Over the last week or two, it has struck me several times...."Wow! School is almost out. Gabby is going to be a first grader." Where does the time go? We hear that question time and time again and yet, no one has an answer. It's always followed by, "I don't know." "We are always so busy, there's never time to do ANYTHING!" Rush, rush, rush! I just told Brad the other day that I really need to start saying "No" to more things because if I don't, my life will never slow down and I'll miss out on these precious times with my kids.

So anyway...on with my story. I got up this morning with the kids and tried to make it a happy day with the kids. We had breakfast, I folded and put away some laundry and then I sat down with them for 45 minutes and played games. I then rushed out the door when Brad got home at 10a.m. so I could go clean one of my houses and rush home so he could go into the office this afternoon. I never stopped to think to myself that it was a milestone day, I just went to work. As I was cleaning, I got a text from a good friend of mine saying, "Are you teary eyed today?" My response to her was, "Nope, too busy working. Why, are you?" She responded that she didn't think so. Hmm...I thought to myself. This is the same person that was excited for school to get out last week when we talked and knew it would give her more freedom because of a loosened schedule.

It wasn't long and I got a call from Brad telling me that Gabby had a breakdown and was silently crying when they pulled into the drop off line at school today. She was teary eyed because it was the last day of school. She had not let on to us that she was at all sad but I think it was all coming to a head with all the fun stuff they had done over the last week there. I felt bad that I wasn't there for her but then thought it may have been just as well.

A few minutes after I hung up the phone with Brad, another text from my friend came through. It was a picture of her son, dressed for his last day of kindergarten and the text said, "Didn't think I would tear up :("
In that moment, it stopped me in my tracks as I realized this was Gabby's first, LAST day of school. I have 12 more summers with Gabby home, if God blesses me with that many! I wanna make the most of it because I look at her in amazement at how much she has grown up already!

So....I got done cleaning and got Brad sent off to the office. I was able to enjoy a half hour of quiet time while Carson slept and then it was time to go pick up my not so little girl. As we pulled away from the school, I found myself a little teary eyed too, and I smiled knowing that I had just joined an unknown number of moms that felt the same way.

Long Week

It's been a long week.............for me! At some point, last week or the very beginning of this (it's all running together at this point) Carson decided he no longer needed to 1. Have a nap and 2. Go to sleep before 11 p.m. As his mother, I couldn't disagree with him more, both for his good, and mine! It has totally thrown him off of his schedule and I'm so confused as to whether I should be napping him to get him back "on" his schedule or to take him off napping so he will go to bed earlier.
I tried both this week but to no avail. The other part of this equation is that he has not been sleeping in any later so at 7:15 every morning, he's been in our bedroom, ready to start the day! Ugh, where is the espresso? I think I'll just start injecting it!
Because he's been off schedule, it usually affects pretty much everything we do outside the home! He's moody, clingy, tired and then add his mama feeling the same way and you have a recipe for disaster.
So....T.G.I.F. We don't have a lot planned this weekend, I have a meeting with a friend on Saturday morning to get some MOPS things organized and then I'm home the rest of the day. On Sunday, we're going to head to the lake with some new friends of ours to enjoy the sun! Here's to hoping it goes well................Cheers!

New Blog

Hey Everyone!
While I plan to keep this blog up and running with "fun" stories of the kids and anything else that's going on, I wanted to let you know that Brad also started a new blog that pertains to what we're going through with Carson, as well as how it affects each of us at times. it's meant to be informative, educational and helpful to anyone that may be wondering if there is something going on with their child but also to help keep you informed on what we're up to with him too. Please see the address below...

www.thecuriouscar.wordpress.com

Enjoy!

All Under Control

Just had to share this hysterically cute story....

This past Sunday, we had gone to church and then been home the rest of the day, just hanging out as a family. It was finally nice out again so Brad was doing a few things around the yard in the afternoon and the kids and I were inside. I was starting to prepare dinner and realized I didn't have any eggs for the corn casserole (the only one Carson will eat) so I asked Gabby if she could please babysit for Carson while I ran to the store real quick. She happily agreed so I left. I arrived back home 15 minutes later to find that not only did Gabby give her brother a snack of yogurt, she "rinsed" the bowl and spoon and placed them back into their respective places. Pretty impressive, if you take out the sanitation part of it all! It wasn't long and Brad pulled me aside to share this conversation that they had while I was gone.

Brad was opening the door to come in and check on the kids when Gabby met him, AT THE DOOR and said,

"Dad, you just go ahead and close that door! I've got everything under control in here."

How do ya like that for some responsible babysitting?! Later I found out that they had decided to play "Max and Ruby" while I was gone. Let's just say, I didn't need to see it, I'm sure she had her part nailed down to a T!

Schedules, schedules, schedules...

Ever since I became a mom, I have felt there is great importance to having a "schedule." Not only does it give the whole family predictability and stability, it helps us all function better! I'm not so stuck on schedules that I can't ever break away from it though. I think it's necessary to give it a break to go do something fun or for family gatherings. You can't just stay home so your kids can be in their routine. Life doesn't work that way so it's nice to teach flexibility.

As Gabby grew, she was always good about being in the groove but could miss a nap here and there or be put to bed a little late from time to time and the next day, life would resume as normal. It was so nice, I have great memories of taking off and doing fun stuff or staying outside and playing on nice afternoons and not worrying so much about naps.

Well........................Carson just does not and cannot seem to work that way. It's a tough thing for me. For example, last weekend was Mother's Day weekend. It's just not possible to NOT do anything on this weekend so on Saturday, we left in the afternoon, just in time for his nap, thinking he would nap on the way to mom and dad's. He did nap on the way for around 45 minutes. He was fine while we were there and then we got home and he was in bed about 30 minutes later than he normally is. The next morning, he was up earlier than usual and we all know this is not a good sign. After my breakfast in bed, (I'll blog about this later) we all got up and ready and left to head down to Alexandria to see Brad's mom. This is another 1 hour and 15 minute drive which isn't bad for us. We got down there and he of course did not get a nap, which is my fault as I just spaced it! We had a great day but to make a long story short, he did not sleep through the night again until Tuesday night. Three mornings in a row, I found him laying on the floor by my bedside, sleeping. He also fought naps on Monday and Tuesday.
Tuesday and Wednesday night, he slept all night and things were clicking again. By Thursday, I had to take him to speech in the afternoon and he fought a nap afterwards, again did not sleep well on Thursday night. And the story continues....
I just don't know what to do. I get so frustrated because when he's off schedule, he fights sleep at night and I'm putting him back in bed up to 3 or 4 times before he actually goes to sleep and then back up earlier than usual. Tonight it was almost 11:00 before he went to sleep and he napped from 2 to 3. I feel like I can't get a break and when his sleep is off, we see other signs that he's off too. More spinning, definitely more fussy and clingy, yadda, yadda, yadda.....
I can't just sit in this house and not go anywhere until he's older, life has to go on...so it does and I catch a nap when I can!

Just an update

I thought I should post a little on what we've been doing since our visit to Fort Wayne Neuro a few weeks ago. It feels like the last few weeks have been a complete whirlwind. Our cell phone bill actually went 45 minutes over our plan (I expected it to be much worse) as Brad uses that phone for business and personal and it's also the only phone I have. Many calls were made to different therapists, school officials, etc...to try and get some services around for Carson. It's never an easy process. I must say I still have a couple of places I'm waiting to hear from and I quite honestly haven't had time to sit on hold and wait for them to get to me. I just don't understand how places like this don't think it's necessary to return phone calls. Grr.....

Anyway....I had a case conference with the school this past Monday morning to discuss Carson's progress and also talk about getting him some Occupational Therapy. Turns out, they think he's doing great in the area of speech and don't think he will need any other services this summer. They shared that they will go into his preschool this fall and then let ME know if THEY think he needs any other services from them at that point. I can see that if Carson continues down this road, I will have a long, up hill battle with the school when it comes to him! At one point in his report, it was stated that Carson "is often quiet" during his speech sessions. So, please tell me, how does that translate to "He's doing great! We see no need for him to have any speech therapy this summer." If he's quiet, doesn't that mean he's not talking while he's there? HELLO! When it comes to his speech, I will say that since February, he's definitely "saying" more but he's no easier for me to understand and if you've never met him, you don't have a chance of getting what he's trying to tell you.

So...I had called his ST from First Steps when all of this went down to see if she would be available to work with him this summer as I refuse to not have him in any type of ST. She is so sweet and I was reminded that she works at the fee of $70/hr. which is...how should I say it, way out of our price range but we were willing to at least try something. Even if it meant that she would come once or twice a month and then instruct me on what to do with him on the off weeeks. Well, she stopped by yesterday afternoon to observe him for a little while and we talked about his speech (of course) and what needs to be worked on. She also shared with me that she does not think that Carson has Autism at all and instead feels that he is totally a "Sensory" kid. I go back and forth on this a lot but I also feel that I still see mild signs of autism in him.

So, basically, I'm still making calls and just waiting for June to get here. We had a busy weekend last week with lots of travelling and being gone. It took Carson until Tuesday to sleep through the night again, take a decent nap and not be completely "off" all day. In fact, we didn't even attempt church last week because we knew that he would not be able to function in his class as he hasn't the past several Sundays but especially after being off of his routine. I will say though, once things started getting back to normal for him, he had a really good week. So, we hang on and we wait.

This weekend, mama's doing the travelling and daddy is staying home with the chicks. I'm going with my mom and sister for an overnight getaway in Indy to see some long time friends. I don't think there will be much potty training going on but at this point, I think we all need a little break from it anyway. He doesn't seem to care if he does it or not! Until next time.....

All in a Lunch Hour

I post this only because some day, I hope to look back and think "Those were the good ole days!" I got up this morning, feeling pretty good about the day. The only obstacle (other than the daily things with Carson) is going to be getting Carson so speech without screaming. He's going through a phase right now where he really doesn't care to go and I think it has something to do with the other little boy that's in his session. Anyway...the morning went pretty smoothly, until lunch.
We're currently on week 8 of potty training so let that set the scene. I was standing in the kitchen, trying to figure out what to make for dinner and also asking Gabby what she wants for lunch. After running down the list of possibilities, she finally decides on Macaroni and Cheese. Carson over hears us and comes running out because he loves to help in the kitchen. While he's standing there, in his pajama pants (he had decided to go comando earlier), I suddenly see him start peeing, on the kitchen floor, a long 2 feet from where his potty chair is sitting. Apparently, he suddenly saw it too because he just looked down like he didn't know what to do. So, after the stream stopped, I took off his pants and socks and decided he was going bare bottom method as it's the only one that works.
I begin cleaning up the mess and then wash up to start lunch. I call Carson out to dump the mac into the pan and I put it on the stove. While all this is happening, I have Gabby, sitting at the island playing computer games and requesting I walk over there to see several different pictures of dogs as I guess she thought I would appreciate their cuteness as much as she did at that time.

O.k. back to what I'm making for dinner, what to cook, what to cook. Into the kitchen runs Carson and straight to his potty chair and POOPS! Big party goes on while I'm cleaning him up again and telling him what a good job he did. Oops, there goes the mac boiling over! I run into the kitchen and turn gas down and stir. Gabby has decided she wants to write words on paper but doesn't know how to spell ANYTHING she's wanting to write so she's asking me. I turn from the stove only to find the dog pooping on the floor and I realize I did see him standing at the back door 10 minutes ago but had forgotten. So, back to the floors it is to clean up. I get done and Mac is ready, I wash up and serve kids. Yes, Carson is still naked from the waist down and Gabby has to notice and ask, "Mom, why is Carson's winky out for lunch?" I respond with a very frustrated tone and tell her it's just easier to potty train him that way. This is between her rattling off Earth Day facts to me!

At some point, I get around to making a sandwich and take one bite in time for the kids to demand seconds. I serve them again and finish eating while standing. It makes no sense to sit and eat lunch when you are a mom.

It's now time to round up the kids and get Gabby to school. I am thinking that Carson is "emptied out" so I put him in underwear because we're only going to be gone for 10 minutes max, right. So, he's dressed, Gabby puts Benny in his cage and I take my allergy meds out to take them as my head is pounding and I know it's my allergies when I hear, "I pooped, mommy." Look around.....Carson is not on his POTTY CHAIR! Yep, that's right, he has pooped in his underwear and we are 30 seconds away from needing to leave the house. I instruct him to come over to me and he runs away with which I respond with loud yelling and threats! He finally comes to the bathroom and we clean up and put a pull up on. Load up in the car and take Gabby to school. I'm sitting here blogging and I can't remember if I ever took my meds but my head is still pounding!

And they say, "You're gonna miss this!"

Housework. It's a love/hate thing!

I really should be DOING housework, but, instead I'm sitting here thinking about it. I've been thinking lately about how there are some things that actually enjoy doing around the house and things I just hate to do. Here's a list....

First the good....I enjoy (or don't mind)...

Bathrooms
Dusting
Vaccuming
Windows
Organizing (o.k. I'll admit, this kinda gives me a rush!)

And the bad...I hate to...

DO THE LAUNDRY (Am I alone here?) I used to not mind the laundry but with the amount steadily growing...it's really a dreadful chore. I feel like it's never REALLY done.

Wash the dishes
Unload the dishwasher
Clean the fish aquarium
Clean out the car (Brad usually does this so I don't have to)

So, what do you love/hate about housework???

A taste of Autism? Maybe.

I know I left you hanging at the beginning of the week while I processed some thoughts and tried to organize them in my mind so I thought I'd try to bring you up to speed on what's going on with Carson. As you probably know, we took him to a neuropsychologist (whew...long word) on Monday and talked to her about things that we have been seeing in him over the past year. She didn't spend any one on one time with Carson but just sat and listened to us and then asked us questions and then booked him another appointment for testing in June. Testing could reveal that he's o.k. but from what we've told the doctor, this is what she thinks.....

Carson is what she considered PDD-NOS which means, Pervasive Development Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified. If you go to http://www.autismspeaks.org/ you can type PDD-NOS in the search box and it will bring up some more things to read.

What this means is that while Carson is not exhibiting behaviors of someone with full blown autsim, he is exibiting enough for them to be recognized and somewhat concerned. His inability to adjust to crowds of people, tip toe walking, rubbing head on the carpet most of the time while playing with toys, spinning, his small selection of food choices, along with even more was enough reason for concern for Brad and I and so we felt it best not to wait until kindergarten to see if it went away on it's own. We were afraid if we waited that long, then the problems would only mount.

So the doctor gave pretty firm instructions to get more speech therapy involved, along with more occupational therapy and some ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) this will give him more time with kids and teach him how to interact with them better.

I left the appointment on Monday with a long list of numbers and people to call and felt at peace with things. The best part was that we didn't feel like we were crazy, this behavior really isn't "normal." Then, I woke up on Tuesday feeling completely depressed and not really wanting to believe this was happening to us. Even though, I have suspected it for almost a year now. I made a few phone calls that day that had to be made and then called it quits so I could just try to take it all in but quite honestly, all I wanted to do was sleep so I did lay down for a little while in the afternoon while Gabby was at school.

I am feeling better about things today. I know we're going to get through this and I shouldn't have been surprised by what the doctor said but, it still isn't something you want to hear about your child. Don't get me wrong, Carson is a lovable, happy little guy, we just know he has some issues that need to be worked out. So...here we go..................I'll keep posting on our progress and how testing goes in June! Thanks for your prayers!

Pick up the Pace

We currently have road construction going on just down the road from where we live. It's on a road that we frequently use to get from here to there. In fact, ALOT of people frequently use it. There was nothing wrong with this road when they began tearing it up last week, they're simply "breaking" it and then fixing it so that it will be wider and allow us to "pick up the pace" of life some more. As if we need to pick up the pace anymore! So...as I was sitting in traffic the other day, waiting to get across the road to hit the ATM and then back over again, I was thinking to myself...our schools budgets are getting cut and teachers are losing their jobs, which will in turn make our classroom sizes bigger, and yet so many of our tax dollars are going to widen the roads so that we can move even faster than we already are, in a life where we can hardly stop to catch our breath. Just some food for thought!

Neuro Appt.

Well, we had the appointment today. I am going to make this short as I am still trying to process. I just wanted to let you know that I am at peace with everything but we have a lot of work ahead of us and I have a lot of driving to appointments in my near future. If you will, give me a couple of days to gather my thoughts and I will post more about what we've learned. I am confident that we will get through this. It's not severe, it's just a lot of work, which I'm not afraid of! Thanks for reading and understanding!

Spring Break and Other Stuff

This week is spring break and as you may have guessed, we're at home! It has been a great week so far as I purposely didn't plan a whole lot because I wanted a week to just lay low and be with the kids. I only had one house to clean this morning so that was nice and I was home shortly after noon.

The weather has been great for the most part. It was 75 here on Monday with great sun! We ran errands in the morning which included a trip to the library and then had a playdate here on Monday. It was great to sit outside and sip tea while the kids played. I hadn't seen my friend Kim in awhile so it was nice to catch up with her. The kids sure slept good Monday night.

Yesterday was another great day! It was very windy but it was warm so we spent more time outside. Gabby has always been a lover of the outdoors and Carson seems to enjoy it a little more this year than last. He still isn't one to interact much when there are other kids here but Gabby does a great job of engaging with him and encouraging him to do things with her. It's nice to see the bond that they already share and I can only hope it continues as they grow.

Today we are inside as it is rainy outside but the sun is shining in here! We just finished a game of Monopoly Jr. and the kids are settled in with their t.v.'s for a little while so mama can have a break. Well, that was short, Carson just walked into the room! He would like to watch Toy Story which is his new obsession but can't quite wrap his mind around the fact that the dvd player is in our bedroom and daddy is the only one that knows how to hook it up to another t.v. so if he wants to see it, it will be upstairs and not down. This is just one example of what we're dealing with in Carson which leads me to share that we will be going down to the Lutheran Neuropsych Dept. on Monday for an evaluation.

We have been seeing a lot of things in him, lately again that, in my opinion, point to Asperger's Disorder. I hope to be told differently but we'll see. While I am relieved to have gotten him in on Monday (I just called yesterday) I would be lying if I said that it doesn't have me emotionally torn. No one ever wants anything to be wrong with their child and the reality that I may hear what I've been suspecting for almost a year now.....I don't know how to describe it. It will be a relief on one hand and heartbreaking on the other. Any time reality finally stares you in the face, it takes you to a whole new level and forces you to deal with the problem. I feel we have been doing what we can here as his parents to work on these things but also want to get him as much professional help as possible if we need it so he's ready to live a normal life when it's time for him to start school. I refuse to be one of those parents who lives in denial that something may be wrong, only to watch it get worse! Don't get me wrong..I'm not Munchausin Bi-Proxy (sp?). I don't crave the attention, I just want to help him.

The nice thing about this is that Brad and I are on the same page. If I didn't have him for mental and emotional support, I could not do this! Thank you, Brad for playing on my team with this! It means the world to me.

So, this week has been great. It's the most relaxing week I've had since we were in Florida in January. I am getting small amounts of spring cleaning done when I can and also reading up on Asperger's ALOT. Some things have changed since I worked with autistic kids but a lot is still the same! For now, all we can do is take it one day at a time.

The Broken Beads

Just over 3 years ago, I lost one of my grandmothers. When she passed, my mom brought some of her old bead necklaces to Gabby so she could play dress up with them. Well, over time, when a little girl plays with them, they occasionally break. A clasp breaks or the beads come apart. Yesterday, as I was working on organizing Gabby's bedroom, I came across some broken beads that used to belong to my grandma. If it would have been any other dress up jewelry that she had that was broken, I would have thrown it away but these beads were different, they were my grandma's and I couldn't bring myself to pitch them so I placed them back in her jewelry box as a memory of grandma. I love you, grandma, and can't wait to see you again in Heaven!

Out of the Water

I'm not sure if I've blogged about Carson's ears before or not but if I have, here's a refresher. Since the end of November, Carson has been having constant battles with ear infections. We have made several trips to the peds. office, only for me to tell them what is wrong with him and for them to confirm it, charge me out the wazoo for the appt. and then send me on my way to pick up yet another prescription.

By the end of February, I was getting frustrated but was trying to put trust in my pediatrician. I had asked him a couple of times about tubes for Carson but he always just kind of chuckled and assured me that once spring got here, his infections would clear up and he'd be fine. After a lot of coaxing from my mom (thanks mom, you were right, again), I finally took him to our ENT here in Fort Wayne (Ear, Nose, Throat Specialist). They did a hearing evaluation, looked in his ears (after he'd been taking a strong antibiotic for 2 weeks) and confirmed that he had fluid in his ears and that it was giving him approx. 30% hearing loss, which would be like if you were always under water or walked around with your fingers in your ears. The answer was obvious, we were going to get tubes.

So today we left the house at 6:45 to head down to Lutheran Hospital. I must admit that although it was a minor, out patient procedure, I was a little nervous. Thoughts of him not coming out of anesthesia or really struggling with it crossed my mind several times. We arrived at the hospital at 7:20 and were taken back at 7:30. once he was taken into the surgery room, we waited in the waiting room for about 10 minutes and they were back and took us to recovery. When the surgeon came out to talk to us, he told us Carson's ears were pretty bad and he had a lot of fluid in there so it again confirmed that we had done the right thing.

To make a long story short, by 8:30, we were headed out of the hospital with our little boy and while he was a little cranky, he was doing fine. We got him the McDonald's breakfast we had promised and took him home so he could eat. Once breakfast was over, I pretty much had my boy back and we've already seen some improvements. It's amazing how much better he can already hear us and how he sat in awe at Red Robin as he listened to all the sounds. He would put his fingers in both ears and then take them out and look around like he'd never heard so much, so clear at one time before.

With some concerns over the last couple weeks about the possibility of Asperger's (these concerns stem from me and things I've seen through working with other kids, we have no diagnosis, I just see things that worry me) our hope and prayer is that these tubes will change his life and eliminate so many frustrations that we've been dealing with over the last year. Time will tell but for now, it looks like he's "out of the water" so to speak with his hearing and we are so happy to see the changes he's made in the first day.

I look forward to the next week or two with much anticipation as I wait to see how his speech improves.

"We're NOT Wal-Mart"

O.k. so I just had to blog about my dentist appt. this morning. I went in for a cleaning and let me begin by telling you, we have no dental insurance so every time we go, it's out of pocket. Sometimes I think medical and dental professionals just walk around thinking that EVERYONE has this great health plan that covers all of their expenses and so there's no holding back. Well, I was also due for x-rays and when I told them I was skipping them today, it was like I shattered their world.

I tell you all of this for this reason....

Late last summer, I was eating ice cream (of all things) and had my tooth crack and half of it fell out. I immediately got it filled to buy me time and decide where to go from there. I sat down with the office manager at the dentists office and had three options, the least of the three was going to cost me $1,000 and there was no guarantee how long it would last. The most expensive was going to cost me $3,200, at an estimate. Well, I did what anyone that has to pay out of pocket does, I started talking to people and asking other dentists what they charge for this procedure. The procedure I need done is an implant which is basically a false tooth in the place of my bad one.

A long time family friend of ours, who works for a dentist, got me in for an eval. and I was quoted $2,200. O.k. is it me or is that a HUGE difference? So today when I went in for my appt. I talked to my dentist, told him that I had gotten a second opinion, with a much lower estimate (and I might as well mention here that the other dentist does cleanings for almost half the price) told him that I would like for him to do it but that $1,000 is a huge difference and here is what he said: "Oh, haha, we're not Wal-Mart! We don't do price comparisons!" And a nice smile to follow it up.

Can you believe after that conversation, the hygenist was dumb enough to say, "So what would be the next step? Should we book her an appointment?" To which I kindly replied, "No, I'm gonna need some time to think about it." and then walked out of their office for what could have possibly been the last time!

If this dentist would have tried to work with me, I may have stayed but he wasn't willing to even think about it and to that I say, shop around, do not be afraid to get second opinions! It's your body and your money!

Spring Cleaning

Well, spring cleaning has begun in the Beeman home which means, "Let's divide, conquer and get rid of some of this stuff!" I sat down and made a list of things that I wanted to get done around the house this spring. I told Brad the other night that I thought I could do most of it on my own but there were a couple things that I would like to have help with, one of which was cleaning out and organizing our attic. His response was, "Well, go ahead and do it without me, just don't get rid of my baseball cards." The reason for him saying this, I believe, is because he knows I hate storing them and think he should just get rid of them so I think he's keeping them to spite me but, oh well! I've resolved the fact they don't take up that much space so I'll just bite my tongue. That's right Brad, I'm biting it, hard! :)

So let me start off by saying that I love my attic closet. It's adjoined to our walk-in closet and has carpet and shelving. It's really nice but it gets so cluttered because we just throw stuff in there and it doesn't take long until we have to almost move everything out just to get to something. Well, I decided this past Friday was the day...I was gonna start spring cleaning and I was starting with the attic! So, I emailed Brad a friendly little memo letting him know that I would be unloading the attic and stuff would be overtaking our bedroom for 2-3 days while I go through it and decide what we're keeping. If I was going to do this on my own, he would have to grin and bare it a couple of days!

Today is Sunday and......(drum roll please) IT'S DONE! And, it looks so nice! You can walk all the way from the door to the back of the attic and get to anything you need. I feel so much better knowing it's done and even better about the fact that I was able to donate a bunch of stuff to the Burmese community here in Ft. Wayne.

Tomorrow it will be nice to cross the first item off the list and decide what to work on next! Happy Spring!

Happy Birthday, Gabby!

Gabby and the girls while
she opens her gifts.


Carson thinking he's "one of
the girls" while Gabby gets
food orders put in with daddy.

Last weekend was Gabby's birthday! She is now officially, six years old! She had decided that she wanted to have her birthday party with school friends this year and that she'd like it to be held at Crazy Pins which, in my opinion, was much better than Chuck E. Cheese! While I still felt the need to bathe both kids when the party was over, I didn't have that urge to dump bleach in the tub like I had in past years!

Crazy Pinz was a great place to hold the party. We had 8 girls, including Gabby and while I thought I had it all under control, I thank God for the two moms that offered to stay and help out! I had no idea how nerve racking it could be to keep all 8 girls together and then to remember all of their names on top of it! So, we got them set up with bowling and I think only had to call the staff over 6 times to remove balls and pins in the alley! Not bad! After bowling, we took them and got them a bite to eat and birthday cake and then did gifts. Lastly, they ran off to the ball pit which was a lot like a gigantic McDonald's playland! Carson went in with them and I was so proud of Gabby for taking him by the hand and letting the other girls go ahead of her while she looked out for him. She is such a great big sister!
After Brad and I made sure each girl was with the correct parent, we gathered our stuff and walked outside. I think my words to him were, "Well, we survived!" I was so exhausted! However, Gabby had a great time and I think all the other girls did too and that's what mattered to me! It's amazing to me that she is 6, she acts even older than that at times and I feel like time is slipping through my hands. We very much enjoy her sense of humor and watching her grow! She is so fun!

Since Saturday was her official day, her and I left in the morning and she attended a baby shower with me. We had decided that we would eat lunch out for her birthday and also make a trip to Build-A-Bear because she had gotten a coupon for a "free" bear for her birthday. So, at 9:30, we departed for the shower. After the shower, we had lunch at Olive Garden, her choice but I must say, it's my fav place to eat so I was excited! Brad and Carson met us, along with mom and Jen since they were in town for the shower anyway.
After lunch, Gabby and I waltzed over to the mall where I had to drive for 15 minutes before finding a parking spot. Once we got into the mall, I knew I was in trouble. The mall was PACKED! I am not a fan of going to Build-A-Bear on the weekend, in fact, I boycott it because it's such a busy place. Long story short, let's just say we waited 40 minutes just to stuff the darn thing but it was so worth it. Gabby was so well behaved and we just talked about anything and everything that a 6 year old thinks about! Whew! It was her day and I wasn't in a hurry. I wanted her to enjoy it and I wanted to enjoy it with her.
Every year when her birthday comes around, I'm taken back to that day she was born. She came into the world at 2:27 in the morning. Visitors came and went her entire first day of life and I'll never forget that first full night we had with her, she had pretty much slept the whole day. I think she was on sensory overload. As soon as the last visitor left, she opened her eyes as wide as she could and just looked around. It was just her and I, it was at that point that I realized that she was mine and it was almost overwhelming! It was in that moment that I realized I was responsible for something way bigger than her tiny 6lb. 14 oz. size showed at that time. I was a parent! A MOMMY!
Gabby, your dad and I love you more than you'll ever know..."To the Moon and Back!" as we say and we're so proud of you and all you've done in your first 6 years of life! You brighten our days and make parenting an exciting and wonderful journey! Happy Birthday!