I entitled this post "Broken" because it seems so fitting. While I'm not going to name names right now, and may never post about this again, there is a couple very near and dear to Brad and I's heart that are preparing to go through a divorce. I hate the word in every sense and I don't agree with it and yet, I do feel that sometimes, there is no other way. In order for this divorce to happen, one of these people is planning to move miles away and it is absolutely crushing me.
I have been close to her for several years and she loves my kids like they are her own. She lives vicariously through them and loves them to the core. Things will absolutely not be the same and yet, I have watched her try and try to make this marriage work, only to watch her be disappointed time and time again. She has been unhappy for years, hoping he will change and yet his addictions are stronger than he is and they have a firm grip. It's been a cycle and it's time for her to get out. This is not an abusive cycle and yet it's a cycle that needs to be broken. But how?
The selfish child in me wants to cry, kick, scream and tell her she can't leave and yet the adult, more mature me says, I want you to be happy. I love you and I can't watch you do this anymore. I can't watch you try and work so hard at your job and on this relationship, only to see you end up with nothing at the end. You have given years to this problem and while it's seen it's peaks, there have been a lot of valleys.
I'm 32 years old and divorce has never been as close as it is now. It's hard to be strong when I feel so weak, helpless and sad. Please pray God's grace in this situation, as well as strength for me as I try to explain divorce to my children.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
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2 comments:
Oh, Stacy, when I was reading your blog just now the song "Mighty to Save" popped into my head. I don't know what that means but I do know that God is our source of strength. I will be praying for healing for your friends and for you & your family as well. Love you, friend.
I know exactly what you mean. Over the past 5 years,Drew and I have seen 5 marriages in trouble, 2 are currently trying to decide what to do. One of the marriages that did end in divorce, I was close to, and it completely crushed me.3 of the 5 marriages were/are in our church! I felt anger, sadness, frustration. I guess because I have been where they are and sometimes the only thing that holds you together are the Words of God. He says that no marriage be broken unless there is infidelity, divorce is a sin! So very hard!
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