Love Grows, Love Changes

Brad and I were just talking a few minutes about something and I felt the need to blog it. We were talking about divorce and how we just don't understand the people that say, "I just fell out of love with him or her." OR.."I just needed to find myself." Like..I just want to say to these people, "How did you know you were lost?"

So what are my thoughts on this you may ask? My thoughts are this...when you get married, you are "in love" with that person because they make you feel different than anyone else ever has. They have swept you off your feet in one way or another and you envision yourself growing old with them. It's a fun time in your marriage! It's new and you are officially "playing" house. You have the money to go and do fun things together because you are "DINKS" (dual income, no kids).

When babies start rolling into the picture, you love that person because of they way that they get up with the baby every night or let you get an extra hour of sleep in the morning because they know you've been up all night. You are in love with them because of the way they have taken pride in their new role as a mommy or daddy and you love watching them swoon over that newborn. It's a whole new chapter of life. You may not have a lot of money left in the bank after the bills are paid but you've got each other and that's what life and love is about. You fall in love with them just listening to them wrestle downstairs with the kids and all the giggles and laughter that is taking place. Love might not feel as fluttery as it used to but it feels solid, and strong. There's a huge foundation that's been laid.

God forbid anything devastating would ever happen to your spouse but if it does, you continue loving that person because of what they are going through and what they are accomplishing through their healing. You see how strong or weak they can be in these instances and you love them by supporting them and walking the journey with them. THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS!
Grandkids may or may not arrive but your love for your mate continues because the kids are grown and out of the house and you finally have that time to yourself back to live a different lifestyle. You go and do fun things as a couple again or you go with friends and do things or take up a new hobby!

And then you grow old together. And you fall in love with the way that he sits and waits on the mail, he still looks forward to getting it, just like the last 50 years and sometimes, just to spite him, you get the mail before he can, just to share a giggle!

You don't fall "out" of love and you don't lose yourself. You just love differently!!