Torn With Feelings of Guilt

Back in October, our church planted a new campus up here, on our side of town. At the time, Brad and I were so excited about the thought of having a shorter drive to church as well as being able to help plant this church. From the start, I was hesitant to dive right into serving as I had just stepped down from our MOPS group in May and had really backed off on the number of houses I was cleaning in July when Brad went back to the coorporate world. I was very much enjoying serving our family and just being able to spend more time with the kids. I had "taken things off my plate" so to speak and it felt good....very good. I was at peace. So, I volunteered to bake cookies 2 Sundays per month. This was a good fit for me but I still felt guilty for not doing more and at the same time, I felt God was saying, "Just rest and serve your family."

When we chose to start attending the north campus, we had no idea the void we would feel by not seeing our friends at church every Sunday. I honestly thought that since I saw them at playdates and small group, I would be fine. We both found that we were mistaken. There's just something about being with friends when you are praising and worshipping our Lord and Savior. We missed it, alot.

So, after a lot of discussion, and prayer, we have decided to make the drive back to the southwest side for church. I am torn because I feel like we need to stay on the north side and help them grow as well as I know Carson did so well in the classes there. On the southwest side, he tends to get overwhelmed due to all the kids in the room. With that being said, Brad and I both agree that we are at an age and a time in our lives that we need to do what's best for us and our family and not worry about what others are going to think about our decision.

I look forward to worshipping with our friends again, I just need to get over the feelings of guilt I am having.

Making Progress

Wow! I can't believe it's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted. We've definitely made mucho progress since the last post. (Pictures to come soon) As Brad puts it, "We are 2 transition strips away from completion." Our floor installer is coming tomorrow to finish putting in the transition strips. For those of you who may not know what a transition strip is, (I didn't before we got new floors in August) they are the strips that end one room and start another. Now, that is my way of explaining it but basically, they "transition" you from one one room to the other.

This past week, we had our ceramic laid and grouted in front of the front door, new trim was installed and painted in the laundry room, kitchen and living room and our bathroom was painted which also meant that our downstairs toilet got reset. Let me just tell you, I know alot of people out there have it worse but it was a pain in the butt to run upstairs every time we needed to use the restroom; especially when you have a 3 year old who has decided he'd kind of like to use the potty again!

I just told Brad tonight that it's hard to believe our kitchen floors have been in for two weeks already. Once I got some things washed and cleaned up and we started cooking and having meals in our kitchen again, it felt like it was all finally falling together. It's starting to feel like home again! The kids have been SO happy running and playing in the house just like they did before the holidays hit. Carson is also settling back into the house. He doesn't feel the need to be so clingy to me which is a welcome break.

Although we never really left, it feels good to be home!

Christmas Post #2

My beautiful floors being ripped out plank...by plank. O.k. so here you see it. I was sick! After we got home, I put a sleeping Carson into bed and got Gabby settled with a movie. I then went downstairs and took about 5 minutes to just take it all in and decide whether it would be more beneficial at that point to sit down and cry or pick up a mop and get to work. I picked the mop! I immediately got to work and then realized that I had plans to have people over twice during the upcoming week so away I went to find my phone and start texting to make cancellations. I find some days that text is the greatest. I didn't have time for conversation but wanted to get things cancelled so I didn't forget. It was soon back to work. We are blessed to have a brother-in-law whose cousin does water restoration and they were able and willing to drive down late Sunday night and start clearing the water out of our house as well as get the big industrial sized fans blowing in our house. Brad and the rest of the guys worked until around 1 a.m. At that point, all we could do was let the fans do their work. I'm not kidding when I say there were times it felt like we had 50 mph. winds whipping through our house.

On Monday we woke up and took the kids to IHOP for breakfast. There was no point in even trying to eat breakfast in our kitchen. It was torn up, unorganized and most of all, it was dirty. After breakfast, on our way home, I had my first melt down from this whole ordeal. The reality that our house was temporarily destroyed was setting in, as well as the fact that I had no idea how long it was going to take to get it all put back together. Add to this, CHRISTMAS WAS COMING! We were less than a week away and all the fun stuff I had thought to do with the kids at home that week was quickly becoming just that.....a thought.

It didn't take me long to realize that while there was SO MUCH to be done, there was NOTHING that I could presently do to help the situation until our house was dry so I decided to pack up the kids again and head to my parent's house in Shipshewana. While all I really wanted to do was be home after being gone all weekend, I couldn't stand to be in my own house. It was depressing and overwhelming.

We spent a good portion of that week at mom and dad's. Thank God they were willing to take us in and feed us. It helped to get my mind off of things and I got some quality time with my little niece which seemed to lift my spirits.

Here I sit, 13 days later and our house is still torn up. We've been staring at concrete floors and are quite frankly, sick of them. It just doesn't feel very "homey." It feels cold and looks like someone started to remodel and then just stopped and had the house reposessed. We have our new flooring all picked out and I am counting down the days that they start installing.

Reconstruction starts in 5 days......

Our Christmas in a Post...or Two.

Christmas 2010 will definitely go down as one of the most....memorable. We were off to a great start this year. I got a lot of my shopping done early and I was so excited to celebrate with the kids and be with family. Before I get started with this story, let me just randomly remind/tell you that we had new wood laminate floors installed back in August. O.k. so here we go....

December 17th was Gabby's last day of school before break. I went and picked her up from school as we were all getting ready to leave town for the weekend. We had booked a hotel in Noblesville this year and the kids were pumped about swimming and celebrating three different Christmases. We eagerly came home and finished packing the car, had pizza with good friends that night and then hit the ground running Saturday morning with Christmas brunch at Brad's dad house. We were joined by two of Jeff's good friends which I think Brad would agree was a little awkward for us going into it but in the end, it all came out o.k. We had a great morning with Brad's dad and step mom and Brad and I were even able to break away for a couple hours to do some shopping for ourselves! It was so nice to have some one on one time with Brad and just stroll the shops. I love the new Hamilton Crossing Mall!

That afternoon, we left and went to Brad's aunts house to celebrate with Brad's exteneded mom's side. A nice time was had by all and then we went back to the hotel and Gabby and I hit hte pool for a little while before bed. Each morning we were gone, Noblesville was blessed with a beautiful freezing fog that coated all the trees, fence posts, ground, etc...it was gorgeous. There's always a part of me that misses Noblesville when we go back. I love driving over the water and looking at the resevoir!

On Sunday, we slept in (as much as the kids would allow) and then went back over to Brad's dad's house to partake in the brunch leftovers from the morning before as well as collect a few odds and ends that we had forgotten there on Saturday. We then said good bye to them and ventured up the road to Alexandria to spend the rest of the day with Brad's mom Terri, our niece Lauren and my sister in law, Amber. I must say, by this point of the trip, I was TIRED! It takes alot to pack 2 kids, a dog, myself and then make room for the hubby to get in a car and be gone for the weekend, not to mention, all the gifts that needed to go! We enjoyed the day and the kids had a fabulous weekend! Many memories made for sure.

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING! That night, as we were packing the car, preparing to head back home, tired, worn out and just ready to get back home.....my phone rings. It's our neighbor. He knew we were gone for the weekend but wasn't sure when we'd be back home. I'll never forget his first words.

Jason: "Hi. Is this Stacy?"
Me: Yes, what's up, Jason?"
Jason: Well, I don't want to alarm you but I just got home and there's ice on the driveway in front of your house so I walked over there and you have water running out from under your garage door and I can hear water running inside your garage.

I don't really remember much after that other than hauling the kids into the car at 90 miles an hour, quickly, half assing our hugs to family and booking it for home! Because our neighbor didn't have a way of getting into our house, we spent the next hour and fifteen minutes wondering, dreading, imagining what we were going to find when we got back home. It was AWFUL!

When we arrived home, we found water all over the garage....and almost over our entire first floor. Brad and I were both devastated when we came in and thought our laminate was safe but then stepped on it and saw water coming up through the seems. I was so sad! These floors that I LOVED and took pride in had to be torn up that night to prevent any mold from forming. We found water in one of our walls as well.

So this ends part one of our Christmas 2010.....more to come! Sorry to end abruptly but I am getting tired.

Lots of Change

Whoever once said that "The only thing consistent is change" was absolutely right. We have been through a lot of change...again. All for the better I must say but Wow! When I look back at what our last 6 months have been like, I am amazed. As I posted back in July or August, Brad had left the business of insurance agent and moved back to Medical Protective to insure a better future for all of us. We had great insurance/benefits and the salary was satisfactory. While I can't say that Brad was completely satisfied there (broken promises from the beginning) he had decided to settle for now due to our need for the things that MedPro could give him.



When September rolled around, a call came in one day that was completely unexpected. It was AAA. Yes, as in AAA Motorclub Membership! Brad had sent them a resume back in the spring but had never heard back so he had forgotten about the job however, it was his dream job. Work from home, travel around to offices helping people sell insurance AND a company car! If you know what Brad is driving now, you will understand why this was a perk to him! :)



Brad ended up doing several phone interviews with AAA and then got a call one Monday in October. The voice on the other end of the line explained that out of 150 applicants, Brad had made the top 5 and they wanted him in Chicago by Friday for a final interview. At this point, Brad didn't have too many sick/vacation days built up yet at Medpro so we really didn't know if it was worth the risk or not but we prayed about it and decided if he didn't take the risk, we'd never know if he'd have gotten the job and sometimes you just need to go for it, so he did! He made a day trip to Chicago (8 hours of driving total) and interviewed. I think we were both nervous all day as I found myself several times throughout the day just praying for him and asking for God's guidance through it all. Five people interviewing for just one job! Would it be worth the time off work, the drive and gas for it?



The following Monday, by 2p.m. we got the call. HE HAD BEEN HIRED! If he accepted, he would have 3-4 weeks of training in Chicago before being released to work from home. We were both nervous about him being gone from home so much but we knew that they offered a great benefits package and the salary they offered was more than we ever expected so we felt it was a no brainer. We definitely felt like God's plan was coming together, after months of not knowing exactly where he was guiding us to. Chicago was NEVER on our radar! So he accepted!



Brad started training about 2 weeks later. While I was so nervous about him being away overnight, I was also excited for him and the opportunity that had arose. I truly felt like we could not let this go. The first week Brad was gone, he left on a Sunday and came back on a Friday night. It was almost like our marriage had been refreshed because we got so much one on one conversation through talking on the phone after the kids had gone to bed. We have never had a bad marriage but it was like we both took the time to give each other undivided attention because we hadn't seen each other during the day and hardly were able to talk.



The week of Thankgiving, we took Gabby and Carson out of school and travelled with them. It was great to get away and spend the night before the holidays hit. We spent alot of our time swimming in the pool, meeting Brad for lunch during the day and even hit a movie, "Megamind" while we were there. I think Brad enjoyed having us there at night when he got off work and we loved being able to be there with him. You can't beat a free hotel stay in Chicago, can you???



After Thanksgiving, Brad had about 2 more weeks of training up there before he was done. It got a little long at the end but we fought through it and it was great to have him home the entire month of December.



Brad's territory starts up in the South Bend/Mishawaka area and stretches down toward Muncie. He has around 48 offices that he looks over and helps ensure they are happy with the service that AAA offers them. He is working with insurance offices just like the one that he used to work in so he has a pretty good idea of how they all operate which makes it nice for him. He loves it and we love having him work from home on the days he's not out on the road. He is hoping to get his company car this spring! He is truly living his dream and it is great to see him so happy again!

Our Outstanding Otter

This is our little "Outstanding Otter" and she has made her mom and dad one proud set of parents! A couple of weeks ago, as I was working on some things with her teacher, Mrs. Longenberger let me know that Gabby would be receiving an Outstanding Otter Award at the River Rally that week on Friday morning. We were invited to attend and I knew that we would not miss it. The River Rally is a gathering that is held in the gym twice a month to recognize kids for outstanding attitudes and achievements.

The timing could not have been more perfect as Brad was in between jobs and so he would also be able to attend. Gabby did not know that she was getting this award so our attending would be a total surprise to her.

That morning, we got her up and rushed her out the door for breakfast at school. She was not too excited about having breakfast at school this morning (who knows why...normally she wants to eat there) but we knew we had to be back at the school by 8a.m. so we needed her there by 7:30 so we would have time to get ready and back to the school without her knowing. We made it back in time and assumed our positions on the bleachers. Gabby walked right by us and never even saw us which was great because then she wouldn't be suspecting anything.

When it was her teacher's turn to announce the award, she walked up to the front of the gym and asked Gabby to come down to the front. Gabby's teacher then explained that she was giving the "Outstanding Otter Award" to Gabby because she always works hard, is a helper in class and is a friend to everyone she meets. This was a very proud and very humbling experience for me as I watched her receive her award. She has grown up so fast and so well! I know we're not perfect but I think we must be doing something right.

Gabby, you are a beautiful, confident 6 year old and I am so proud you are my daughter. You are going to change the world with your smile and your positive outlook on life. I hope you never lose your zest, energy and free spirit! Thank you for being such a light in my life. God has blessed me so much by making you my little girl. I love you!

Change of Lifestyle

Have you ever been so happy....for......someone else that you were just giddy???? I mean like you could feel the adrenaline almost rushing? That's how I felt recently when my mother in law moved into a new apartment. For 26 years, Teri has lived in a very simple, two bedroom apartment. When I say simple, there is no other word for it. It had two bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. There was no dishwasher, no washer and dryer and no garage.

Terri leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning so every time there was a snowstorm, she would have to go out and dig herself out (she's single). It became obvious over the past year that she should start looking for a new place to live because the maintenance man (in my opinion) became pathetically lazy. At least 2 or 3 times, Terri's toilet would break and leak water all over the bathroom. If it was over a weekend, Terri had to turn the water to her toilet off and use a neighbor's bathroom and shower because maintanence was not coming to fix it on a weekend.

A couple months ago, Terri went and looked at an apartment complex for 55 and up in which she really liked. She wanted to downsize but there were only two 1 bedroom apartments and neither one of them was available, so she put herself on a waiting list. She recently got a call that a one bedroom had opened up and wondered if she wanted to take it. You should know that this apartment includes: a dishwasher, a washer/dryer hook up and...A GARAGE!

On October 9, Terri got the keys to her new apartment and I am thrilled to report that she is so happy there! And the icing on the cake.............two weeks ago, she got a bonus at work and purchased her first brand new washer/dryer so she will no longer have to leave her home (especially in the winter time) to do her laundry. Brad and I got to assist her in the hunt for them and it was so fun watching her look at them and decide which set she wanted.

For 26 years, she washed dishes by hand, carried her clothes to the laudromat every week and dug herself out from the snow. What a change of lifestyle. Yes, it could have been worse but now she no longer has to do any of that, and it all warms my heart!