I'm not good at it....waiting....the kind of waiting where you just don't know how long you're going to be, "waiting." I'm very much an organizer and a planner. I don't mind "flying by the seat of my pants" OCCASIONALLY, but I don't want to make it a way of life.
I went in for my 37 week appointment today, only to find out that I really have not progressed much over the last week. This news wouldn't have been so disappointing to me had I not had contractions yesterday from 4 a.m. until 1:30 p.m. and then again from 7p.m. to 10:30 last night. There's something about those contractions that gets you excited! You can feel the end in sight and know that all the work your body is doing for you is going to get your little blessing here in your arms.
While I have had some better days lately, I've also felt anxious, feeling like it's close but then finding out today that I hadn't dilated anymore really bummed me out. It's my prayer that this little girl will come in God's time, so for now.....
I keep waiting.................
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Bittersweet
I feel like the last week or so, I' ve been checking off a list of "Top Ten Signs You're Going Into Labor" and it's kind of bittersweet. After spending over four weeks of not feeling well and having to stay down, with limited activity, I am finally able to be up and going. It's nice! This past weekend was Labor Day weekend. I woke up on Saturday, after having had a really good night's sleep and felt great! I seriously felt like a new person! And it continued into Sunday and Monday, so much so that I even went bowling with the family on Monday and bowled a 117, which was enough to beat Brad! Let's hear it for the pregnant lady! :)
Now here I am today, it's Tuesday and my energy is back down and I'm not feeling so hot! It leaves me wondering, what's next? Check that sudden burst of energy off the list!
The bittersweet part comes in the fact that while I have loved being pregnant (until the last month or so) I'm also ready to see her sweet face but then, (here comes the selfish part of me) once she's here, I have to share her with the world and I know I will miss all the kicks and squirms that I have been feeling since 20 weeks along. Not to mention, there will be the sleepless nights and 3 different schedules to tend to. I'm not sure how Carson is going to transition with a baby in the house either. How will the kids do without me being home for a couple days? How will delivery go?
All things that run through my head when I can't sleep some nights.....bittersweet!
Now here I am today, it's Tuesday and my energy is back down and I'm not feeling so hot! It leaves me wondering, what's next? Check that sudden burst of energy off the list!
The bittersweet part comes in the fact that while I have loved being pregnant (until the last month or so) I'm also ready to see her sweet face but then, (here comes the selfish part of me) once she's here, I have to share her with the world and I know I will miss all the kicks and squirms that I have been feeling since 20 weeks along. Not to mention, there will be the sleepless nights and 3 different schedules to tend to. I'm not sure how Carson is going to transition with a baby in the house either. How will the kids do without me being home for a couple days? How will delivery go?
All things that run through my head when I can't sleep some nights.....bittersweet!
37 Weeks
Yep! Wow! 37 weeks! I can hardly believe it. Where did the rest of summer go? This past Saturday, we hit 97 degrees, today is Tuesday and we didn't even make it to 70 much less 65! Fall is in the air and I am missing summer but with the temperatures turning cooler, that also means our newest blessing is that much closer to arriving! In fact, we anticipate seeing her any day now.
The last four to six weeks have been a bit of a struggle. I haven't been feeling too well and my body has been progressing toward delivery slowly....but surely. Each appt. at the doctor has revealed that we were a bit closer. Around 33 weeks, I had to stop cleaning the house and office I had been working for and take some time for light bedrest. The doctor never put me on strict bedrest but did instruct that I really needed to be taking it easy. I'm not saying this to brag but my job here in this house as a mom and housewife is to keep things orderly, clean and groceries in the house. I have been unable to do any of those and it has bothered me more than I ever thought it would. Brad has been great at pitching in and helping but there's something about having to watch him go to work all day and then come downstairs and either cook or go pick up food and then pick up the house and clean it that really sent me into a funk. I also do the grocery shopping and it's been hard to not be able to do that.
A few weeks ago, I needed to get some things that I wanted to pick out for myself since they were personal things I would need once the baby arrived. So Brad, Carson and I had breakfast out and Brad took me to Target that morning. I already knew that I would need to ride in one of those motorized carts when I got there because just walking across a parking lot would put me into contractions but I had no idea how humbling it would be once I was actually in the cart, wheeling through the store. I don't ever want to do that again. I felt like people were looking at me thinking, "What's the pregnant lady doing in the motor cart? She doesn't look that pregnant to me!"
We are all anxious to meet the newest member of our family! Sometimes the hardest part is waiting but it won't be too much longer now!
The last four to six weeks have been a bit of a struggle. I haven't been feeling too well and my body has been progressing toward delivery slowly....but surely. Each appt. at the doctor has revealed that we were a bit closer. Around 33 weeks, I had to stop cleaning the house and office I had been working for and take some time for light bedrest. The doctor never put me on strict bedrest but did instruct that I really needed to be taking it easy. I'm not saying this to brag but my job here in this house as a mom and housewife is to keep things orderly, clean and groceries in the house. I have been unable to do any of those and it has bothered me more than I ever thought it would. Brad has been great at pitching in and helping but there's something about having to watch him go to work all day and then come downstairs and either cook or go pick up food and then pick up the house and clean it that really sent me into a funk. I also do the grocery shopping and it's been hard to not be able to do that.
A few weeks ago, I needed to get some things that I wanted to pick out for myself since they were personal things I would need once the baby arrived. So Brad, Carson and I had breakfast out and Brad took me to Target that morning. I already knew that I would need to ride in one of those motorized carts when I got there because just walking across a parking lot would put me into contractions but I had no idea how humbling it would be once I was actually in the cart, wheeling through the store. I don't ever want to do that again. I felt like people were looking at me thinking, "What's the pregnant lady doing in the motor cart? She doesn't look that pregnant to me!"
We are all anxious to meet the newest member of our family! Sometimes the hardest part is waiting but it won't be too much longer now!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Week 30
Well, we've managed to sprint into third trimester and aren't looking back. It's still been a great pregnancy and I'm grateful that I've been feeling so good. I truly have enjoyed this pregnancy and the kids are loving the fact that they can feel her kicking and moving around.
The nursery is almost complete and I'd like to post pictures but our computer has fallen under some awful virus, making it difficult for us to do much of anything on here so it may be awhile until that gets done (I'm hoping to talk Brad into a new Mac in the coming months) I will say Brad did an excellent job of painting the nursery a "Fresh Squeezed Pink Lemondade" color and then we stuck big, brown polka dots randomly on the walls. I love it and Gabby is over the moon for it. Carson was upset we did not go with purple but has agreed that a purple bear or blanket will make up for it.
We are having a great summer and the heat really hasn't bothered me as of yet, with a high of 100 today, I think I'm gonna survive summer, 2011! Gabby goes back to school 3 weeks from today which saddens me but we have great blessings to look forward to this fall!
Will keep posting as this laptop allows!
The nursery is almost complete and I'd like to post pictures but our computer has fallen under some awful virus, making it difficult for us to do much of anything on here so it may be awhile until that gets done (I'm hoping to talk Brad into a new Mac in the coming months) I will say Brad did an excellent job of painting the nursery a "Fresh Squeezed Pink Lemondade" color and then we stuck big, brown polka dots randomly on the walls. I love it and Gabby is over the moon for it. Carson was upset we did not go with purple but has agreed that a purple bear or blanket will make up for it.
We are having a great summer and the heat really hasn't bothered me as of yet, with a high of 100 today, I think I'm gonna survive summer, 2011! Gabby goes back to school 3 weeks from today which saddens me but we have great blessings to look forward to this fall!
Will keep posting as this laptop allows!
Monday, June 13, 2011
Week 25
Yep! We're into WEEK 25 in this pregnancy #3 journey! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? Honestly, this pregnancy is going so fast and I must say....I've been feeling great which is a huge change from being pregnant with Carson. As long as I can get my rest, my days go well and I feel like my energy is up. By night, I am pretty tired and ready for a couple hours on the couch after the kids go to bed but otherwise, I really can't complain!
It's been about a month already since we found out we're having a GIRL! Yes, that's right, two girls, two weddings, double the boyfriends...and heartache...yikes! We're excited though and ready to take on whatever life brings (well, for now, anyway). I'm looking forward to cute girlie stuff again and Gabby is really excited about having a sister. Carson.....not so much but he's adjusting to the thought.
I am taking time to enjoy the summer with our two older kids right now as I know this fall, time will be hard to come by for the first couple months. I am enjoying time with them and we are LOVING lazy summer days already, or maybe I should say the "not so" lazy days of summer. Whoever has had a "lazy" day with 2 kids, really should lead a training on how to get that done!
Life with 3 children, coming soon....I'm excited and anxious all at the same time. Can't wait to see her face though and meet her. I am enjoying this pregnancy so much and just smile when I feel her kicking and squirming. We were able to get a quick 3D shot of her in the ultrasound, it's amazing what the works of our Father can do! I sit in awe of Him so many times and am so grateful of this life he's blessed me with.
It's been about a month already since we found out we're having a GIRL! Yes, that's right, two girls, two weddings, double the boyfriends...and heartache...yikes! We're excited though and ready to take on whatever life brings (well, for now, anyway). I'm looking forward to cute girlie stuff again and Gabby is really excited about having a sister. Carson.....not so much but he's adjusting to the thought.
I am taking time to enjoy the summer with our two older kids right now as I know this fall, time will be hard to come by for the first couple months. I am enjoying time with them and we are LOVING lazy summer days already, or maybe I should say the "not so" lazy days of summer. Whoever has had a "lazy" day with 2 kids, really should lead a training on how to get that done!
Life with 3 children, coming soon....I'm excited and anxious all at the same time. Can't wait to see her face though and meet her. I am enjoying this pregnancy so much and just smile when I feel her kicking and squirming. We were able to get a quick 3D shot of her in the ultrasound, it's amazing what the works of our Father can do! I sit in awe of Him so many times and am so grateful of this life he's blessed me with.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Pause, Pray, Reflect
Do you ever have something happen where you are forced to pause, pray and reflect on it? The last few days have been just that for me. A little over two weeks ago, our pastor underwent brain surgery. I would consider this emergency brain surgery as he went into the ER to be checked out for the headaches he was having and by the end of the day, was whisked away to the OR.
This came as quite a shock to many in our church community as I know there were many (including me) that were unaware that he had not been feeling well for the past month. Once out of surgery, the report came back that they had removed a pretty good sized tumor from his brain and it was being sent out to Mayo for testing, it would be days until they knew the results. So....they wait...and we, as a congregation, pray for the best. Stan was/has been feeling great since the surgery. He was home within a few days and very much present in social media giving us updates as to how he was doing. The impression that he was on his way to healing was definitely there.
This past Thursday, one day short of the 14 day mark since surgery, the pathology report came back. The report stated that Stan has Glioblastoma, stage 4. Certainly not what anyone expected or wanted to hear. Stage 4 brain cancer.....he is 51 years old. How could this be? I had so many questions racing through my mind. Brad and I received the news through his caring bridge sight, www.caringbridge.org/visit/stanbuck on Thursday night and it consumed my every thought for the next 48 hours. I found myself on Friday, forced to pause, pray and reflect on this situation and wonder what God is wanting all of us to learn from this?
Ultimately, my prayer is for complete remission and healing for our pastor. For peace, strength and comfort for his family. I can't even begin to fathom how this is affecting all of them right now.
My next prayer is that we, as a church community can wrap our arms around the Buck's in a way that loves them and supports them but doesn't smother them.
And finally....what are we, as Christian's, as God's people, supposed to take from this and how do we grow stronger in our faith from this? I know, without a doubt that my relationship with God can and will be strengthened through raw.....tough experiences, it's whether I choose to respond to it or not. I will respond, but for now, I choose to pause, pray and reflect...listen to what God is saying.
This came as quite a shock to many in our church community as I know there were many (including me) that were unaware that he had not been feeling well for the past month. Once out of surgery, the report came back that they had removed a pretty good sized tumor from his brain and it was being sent out to Mayo for testing, it would be days until they knew the results. So....they wait...and we, as a congregation, pray for the best. Stan was/has been feeling great since the surgery. He was home within a few days and very much present in social media giving us updates as to how he was doing. The impression that he was on his way to healing was definitely there.
This past Thursday, one day short of the 14 day mark since surgery, the pathology report came back. The report stated that Stan has Glioblastoma, stage 4. Certainly not what anyone expected or wanted to hear. Stage 4 brain cancer.....he is 51 years old. How could this be? I had so many questions racing through my mind. Brad and I received the news through his caring bridge sight, www.caringbridge.org/visit/stanbuck on Thursday night and it consumed my every thought for the next 48 hours. I found myself on Friday, forced to pause, pray and reflect on this situation and wonder what God is wanting all of us to learn from this?
Ultimately, my prayer is for complete remission and healing for our pastor. For peace, strength and comfort for his family. I can't even begin to fathom how this is affecting all of them right now.
My next prayer is that we, as a church community can wrap our arms around the Buck's in a way that loves them and supports them but doesn't smother them.
And finally....what are we, as Christian's, as God's people, supposed to take from this and how do we grow stronger in our faith from this? I know, without a doubt that my relationship with God can and will be strengthened through raw.....tough experiences, it's whether I choose to respond to it or not. I will respond, but for now, I choose to pause, pray and reflect...listen to what God is saying.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
A May Update
Wow! The month of May is all but gone and I have managed to fail at blogging. So many times through out the month, there have been topics that I've felt I'd really like to post on and it seems like a great idea in the middle of the afternoon but this is also when I'm picking Gabby up from school, helping her with homework, trying to keep Carson busy so I can help Gabby with her homework and then think about preparing dinner, or running Gabby to Daisies or leaving to go clean the office or house that I clean every other week. By the time I get the kids to bed and sit down at night, NOTHING seems like a good idea, other than laying on the couch and waiting to feel the baby kick!
So, with that being said, here is a quick update on what the month of May held for us....
Brad finally got his company car! He's so excited and he looks so cute driving around in it. The company furnishes Ford Escapes for the employees that drive an enormous amount of miles for work. Brad has never had a company car before and is enjoying the benefits of swiping a company card for gas (especially with prices being so high). To give you an idea of how many miles he drives, we are nearing the two week mark of him having his car and he's approaching 1,000 miles! Yep, that's a lot, considering he usually works from home two to three days a week. Brad still LOVES his job and I must admit, I love having him work from home! The kids and I are hoping to make a trip to Chicago with him in the near future when he has to go back to headquarters for a little mini-getaway so we can relax, swim and keep him company at night. He is doing great at his job and is exceeding goals by leaps and bounds! I'm so proud of him!
Gabby is preparing to finish up her first grade year. As I always say, where has the time gone? She has grown up to be such a beautiful, free spirited little girl and really helps out a lot around the house. She participated in Daisies this year which she loved as well as took Baton/Twirling and Pom lessons every Friday after school. her recital was held a couple of weeks ago and I was a proud mama sitting in the stands as she performed all the routines they had worked so hard all year for. We are finding that Gabby is a very good girl with a wonderful personality but she also finds herself bored quite a bit so we have to be creative and keep her busy. We're trying to find her "niche" and help her pursue it but it takes time. I refuse to be the parent that has their kids involved with so many activities that everyone's head spins because we meet each other coming and going.
Gabby, I love you and I am so glad God has blessed me enough to be your mom!
Carson just finished up his first year of preschool today. There's no way to say briefly how much this kid has changed since he started school in the fall. It's just amazing. Carson ended the school year being potty trained, he made his first friends, who he loves and cherishes, and has started to come out of his shell. During second semester, he started engaging with the kids more and he looked forward to going to school every day! When preschool starts in the fall, Carson will attend the same school and will go for 3 days a week instead of two. Carson is also going to attend a summer camp put on by his teacher for social skills and music. He is our little musician and loves making noise. I think he will enjoy camp and this will also be a good time for Gabby and I to spend time together. Carson, I look at you and am so happy with all the things you have accomplished in the last year! Keep working hard, the world is yours to have! I love you.
As for me, well, I continue to keep the house running (with the help of Brad) am still growing a baby inside me. We are currently at 23 weeks and now know whether we're having a boy or girl, a post I will save for later. I have been feeling great overall but do find myself exhausted by the end of the day. Brad has been great about allowing me time for rest and naps when he is working from home. I could have never guessed that I would feel so good with this pregnancy, after the way the last one went but I am blessed!
Life is busy! I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going and how fast LIFE is going! I fear this summer will fly by, just like any other summer and I will find myself sad that the kids are back in school but we also have another blessing that will be very close to arriving by that point so I know my mind will be racing. God is good, and so is life!
So, with that being said, here is a quick update on what the month of May held for us....
Brad finally got his company car! He's so excited and he looks so cute driving around in it. The company furnishes Ford Escapes for the employees that drive an enormous amount of miles for work. Brad has never had a company car before and is enjoying the benefits of swiping a company card for gas (especially with prices being so high). To give you an idea of how many miles he drives, we are nearing the two week mark of him having his car and he's approaching 1,000 miles! Yep, that's a lot, considering he usually works from home two to three days a week. Brad still LOVES his job and I must admit, I love having him work from home! The kids and I are hoping to make a trip to Chicago with him in the near future when he has to go back to headquarters for a little mini-getaway so we can relax, swim and keep him company at night. He is doing great at his job and is exceeding goals by leaps and bounds! I'm so proud of him!
Gabby is preparing to finish up her first grade year. As I always say, where has the time gone? She has grown up to be such a beautiful, free spirited little girl and really helps out a lot around the house. She participated in Daisies this year which she loved as well as took Baton/Twirling and Pom lessons every Friday after school. her recital was held a couple of weeks ago and I was a proud mama sitting in the stands as she performed all the routines they had worked so hard all year for. We are finding that Gabby is a very good girl with a wonderful personality but she also finds herself bored quite a bit so we have to be creative and keep her busy. We're trying to find her "niche" and help her pursue it but it takes time. I refuse to be the parent that has their kids involved with so many activities that everyone's head spins because we meet each other coming and going.
Gabby, I love you and I am so glad God has blessed me enough to be your mom!
Carson just finished up his first year of preschool today. There's no way to say briefly how much this kid has changed since he started school in the fall. It's just amazing. Carson ended the school year being potty trained, he made his first friends, who he loves and cherishes, and has started to come out of his shell. During second semester, he started engaging with the kids more and he looked forward to going to school every day! When preschool starts in the fall, Carson will attend the same school and will go for 3 days a week instead of two. Carson is also going to attend a summer camp put on by his teacher for social skills and music. He is our little musician and loves making noise. I think he will enjoy camp and this will also be a good time for Gabby and I to spend time together. Carson, I look at you and am so happy with all the things you have accomplished in the last year! Keep working hard, the world is yours to have! I love you.
As for me, well, I continue to keep the house running (with the help of Brad) am still growing a baby inside me. We are currently at 23 weeks and now know whether we're having a boy or girl, a post I will save for later. I have been feeling great overall but do find myself exhausted by the end of the day. Brad has been great about allowing me time for rest and naps when he is working from home. I could have never guessed that I would feel so good with this pregnancy, after the way the last one went but I am blessed!
Life is busy! I cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going and how fast LIFE is going! I fear this summer will fly by, just like any other summer and I will find myself sad that the kids are back in school but we also have another blessing that will be very close to arriving by that point so I know my mind will be racing. God is good, and so is life!
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